


The Meme Team™

by oki_doki_lemon_smokey



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Depressed Thomas, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Nonbinary Marquis de Lafayette, Other, Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, everyone is really gay, i dont even know, i dont know what to tag im trying ok, i swear this is good ok, it gets angsty in a little bit, like really quick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 14:13:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 41
Words: 25,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8449378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oki_doki_lemon_smokey/pseuds/oki_doki_lemon_smokey
Summary: frenchbitch: alexander was the only one who had off from work today, and i decided to get off work early using my amazing looks to surprise alexfrenchbitch: so i walk inside our home and alex is wearing a barbie snuggie, he's drinking grape juice from a wine glass and he's blaring beyonce





	1. Chapter 1

Non-Stop added frenchbitch, HERCSMASH and why to a group chat.

Non-Stop: I ACTUALLY DID IT HOLY SHIT

frenchbitch: it took you two hours to make a group chat, mon petit lion, that must be a world record

Non-Stop: its a new phone guys its hard

frenchbitch: you could have asked us to do it instead of struggling you old man

Non-Stop: don't bully me

HERCSMASH: you deserve to be bullied

Non-Stop: wOW I SEE WHERE I STAND IN THIS RELATIONSHIP

why: even if you stand you're still to short for anyone to see

frenchbitch: ALEXANDER GOT SLAYED

Non-Stop left the group chat

why: bABE IM SORRY

HERCSMASH added Non-Stop to the group chat

Non-Stop: I thought we hAD SOMETHING

frenchbitch: bitch you thought

why: herc is literally on the floor he's laughing so hard at that

Non-Stop: wait your with herc

frenchbitch: without MOI?????

why: herc invited me over for cake and we never got around to inviting you ???

Non-Stop: i am HURT

frenchbitch: Vous osez me tromper?!

Non-Stop: Il est sur moi aussi zone de quarantaine!

HERCSMASH: what

why: THEY SAID THAT WE WERE CHEATING ON THEM AND ALEX SAID WE WERE CHEATING ON HIM TOO WHAT THE FUCK

HERCSMASH: WE ARE ALL DATING EACH OTHER THERE IS NO CHEATING

Non-Stop: bitch you thought

frenchbitch: THAT'S MY LINE

HERCSMASH: i'm leaving i'm going to eat cake and watch friends

why: wait i'm coming too i wanna cuddle

frenchbitch: wAIT DONT GO 

Non-Stop: you have me (:

frenchbitch: PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME WITH ALEX

Non-Stop: i'm leaving too

frenchbitch: wait i'm jOKING

frenchbitch: mon petit lion?

frenchbitch: ):


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hope you can figure out who everyone is without explanation

sinnamonbun added Non-Stop, why, HERCSMASH, frenchbitch, peg-leg, and angel to a group chat

Non-Stop: eLIZA I MISS YOU

sinnamonbun: I MISS YOU TOO JEEZ WHY DIDNT YOU COME WITH US

sinnamonbun: you would have had so much fun !!!

frenchbitch: what are you talking about?

Non-Stop: george planned on taking me and my sisters upstate but i stayed behind

angel: all because you had "work" to do

Non-Stop: it was aN ESSAY 

angel: YOU LITERALLY HAVE NO SCHOOL AND YOUR MAKING ESSAYS

Non-Stop: and i also didn't want to leave my boyfriends and datemate :(

peg-leg: your boyfriends and datemate mean more to you than your own sisters

peg-leg: cries

angel: pEG !!

sinnamonbun: !!!!!

HERCSMASH: aww alex that's so sweet

Non-Stop: <3

HERCSMASH: <333

peg-leg: dON'T IGNORE ME

frenchbitch: can someone add eliza's lover, she's bugging me

frenchbitch: she says eliza won't reply to her, poor chéri!!

sinnamonbun: hEY IVE BEEN CAUGHT UP WITH YOU PEOPLE

Non-Stop: i got it

Non-Stop added landofthefree to the group chat

Non-Stop: NO NO NO I CLICKED THE WRONG NAME THEY'RE RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER

frenchbitch: aLEXANDER

sinnamonbun: DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUsT

landofthefree: the fuck is this shit

Non-Stop: gET OUT LEAVE SHOO SHOO

landofthefree: hell no i won't get added back if i do

HERCSMASH: YOU HAD ONE JOB ALEX

HERCSMASH: ADD MARIA

HERCSMASH: AND YOU FAILED

why: i wake up to this

landofthefree: i'm using this shit to my advantage

peg-leg: alex why do you even have   
jefferson in your contacts

angel: yeah i'm curious

Non-Shot: wE HAD A GROUP PROJECT ONCE OK

Non-Shot: I NEVER GOT AROUND TO REMOVING HIM

landofthefree: you fucking liar you message me at three am every night to complain about how george calls you son every time he calls you

why: every night?

landofthefree: every night.

Non-Stop has left the group chat.

angel: what the fuck

sinnamonbun: aLEX HE'S BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOU FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS 

peg-leg: you call us your sisters but you don't call him dad what a shame

HERCSMASH added Non-Stop to the group chat.

Non-Stop: hE'S NOT MY DAD

landofthefree: daddy issues am i right

Non-Stop: SHUT IT JEFFERSON YOU FUCKING GAY PIECE OF SHIT

why: alex your dating two men and one agender person your gayer than jefferson will ever be

Non-Stop: wHY IS EVERYONE BULLYING ME

landofthefree: calm down hamilson

frenchbitch: oh mon dieu

frenchbitch: alexander just threw his phone across the room

HERCSMASH: jefferson alex is putting his shoes on he knows where your dorm is

why: he saID HE WAS GOING TO KILL YOU HAHA FUCKING SUFFER

landofthefree: iM MOVING BACK TO VIRGINIA

peg-leg: why am i friends with all of you

sinnamonbun: and in the end no one added maria :(


	3. 3

frenchbitch renamed this group chat to Save Alexander™

HERCSMASH: what do you mean

frenchbitch: alexander was the only one who had off from work today, and i decided to get off work early using my amazing looks to surprise alex

frenchbitch: so i walk inside our home and alex is wearing a barbie snuggie, he's drinking grape juice from a wine glass and he's blaring beyonce

frenchbitch: he isn't aware that i'm here yet

why: not fair !

frenchbitch: he's dANCING AND SINGING

HERCSMASH: oh my god please record it

frenchbitch sent workitbitch.mp4

HERCSMASH: IM CRY NG I

HERCSMASH: WHY IS HE SO CUTE

why: I WANT TO BE THERE WHY DO I WORK SO LATE

why: annoyed wheezing

frenchbitch: hE NOTICE DME

frenchbitch: aBORT MSISSON NNN

frenchbitch: JDJSZNZJ JU SISSJSJSJH."HH;L£

why: are they being murdered, raped, or yelled at

why: find out in the next episode of dragon ball z

HERCSMASH: why do i love you

why: i ask myself that every day

HERCSMASH: D:

Hamilson: DELETE THAT VIDEO

Hamilson: BURN YOUR PHONES

Hamilson: GET RID OF ALL THE EVIDENCE

HERCSMASH: but your so cute

Hamilson: I AM NOT

why: guys

HERCSMASH: YOU ARE TOO

Hamilson: HERC I WILL GO TO THAT FUXKING PANTS PLACE YOU WORK AT AND DESTROY YOU

why: GUYS

Hamilson: WHAT

HERCSMASH: WHAT

why: why is alexander's name hamilson

Hamilson: so i can annoy jefferson

why: you never cease to amaze me with your one of a kind logic, alexander

why: its been 10 minutes where is everyone

why: whispers wake me up wake me up inside

why: can't wake up wake me up inside

why: voice fades out

why: saaaavvveee meeee........

\---

Hamilson: have you ever noticed

Hamilson: in the entire year that we've known lafayette

Hamilson: we've never heard them say baguette

HERCSMASH: the fuck

why: alex go back to bed

Hamilson: iT'S TRUE THOUGH

Hamilson: THEY'RE FRENCH THEY SHOULD SAY IT AT LEAST ONCE

frenchbitch: baguette

Hamilson: IN REAL LIFE YOU JACKASS

frenchbitch: no ;)

why: where did this even come from its 3 am

why: did jefferson inform you of this

Hamilson: maybe

HERCSMASH: sTOP TALKING TO JEFFERSON AT 3AM YOU TWO MIGHT ACTUALLY BECOME

HERCSMASH: shivers

HERCSMASH: F R I E N D S

Hamilson: I JUST WANT TO HEAR THEM SAY BAGUETTE OK

frenchbitch has changed his name to eatmybaguette

Hamilson: is that an invitation 

HERCSMASH: don't have sex without us guys that's not fair

eatmybaguette: well we have a bottom

Hamilson: and a top

eatmybaguette: soooooo....

why: i'm done

HERCSMASH: DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

HERCSMASH: GUYS

HERCSMASH: GOD DAMNIT  



	4. 4

Hamilson: guys 

Hamilson: guys that's it i'm calling everyone i know babe

HERCSMASH: ALEX NO

why: A L E X

eatmybaguette: pourquoi devez-vous me faire du mal de cette façon, mon petit lion

\---

landofthefree: SOMEONE COME AND TAKE HAMILTON AWAY I CANT TAKE THIS ARGUMENT SERIOUSLY WHEN HE'S CALLING ME BABE EVERY FIVE SECONDS

HERCSMASH: oh my god he's actually doing it

peg-leg: he called me babe too and i ran away screaming

angel: i just walked away

sinnamonbun: i legit shivered in disgust you don't cALL YOUR SISTERS BABE

landofthefree: someone stop him he's gone wild and its annoying me

eatmybaguette: jeff you've been blushing for the past ten minutes and every time he calls you babe you look like you've been shot through the heart

why: dON'T STEAL MY MAN

HERCSMASH: *PANICKED WHEEZE*

landofthefree: I'M NOT BLUSHING

eatmybaguette: YOU'RE BEET RED

landofthefree has left the group chat.

sinnamonbun: jefferson has curled up in the corner

peg-leg: ALEX IS SO CONFUSED THIS IS HILARIOUS

angel: alex is grabbing his phone qUICK SOMEONE ADD JEFFERSON BACK AND PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED

angel has added landofthefree to the group chat

Hamilson: I CAN SCROLL UP ANGELICA

angel: woops

why: i didn't think you were literally calling everyone babe

HERCSMASH: your making babe a less desirable pet name now :((

Hamilson: just think of a new one - its easy

Hamilson: lafayette is my kitten

Hamilson: herc is my darling

Hamilson: john is my freckled love

why: damn son

eatmybaguette: im blushing awww !!!

HERCSMASH: ily alex

Hamilson: <3

HERCSMASH: <33

eatmybaguette: <333

why has changed his name to freckledJesus

freckledJesus: <3333

angel: gAYYYY

peg-leg: i thought i was pretty gay but alex has beaten me

landofthefree: i hate you all


	5. 5

freckledJesus: oKAY GUYS I HEARD ALEX SINGING IN THE NEXY ROOM AND I SWEAR TO GOD IM GOING TO CRY HE SOUNDS SO NICE

angel: rECORDING NOW

sinnamonbun: PLS I MISS HIS SINGING VOICE 

freckledJesus sent EHATTHEFUCK.mp4

sinnamonbun: is!! that!!

sinnamonbun: A!! NEW!! SONG!! I!! SMELL!! 

peg-leg: it sounds like he's singing about the revolution or smth

angel: he's a nerd

Hamilson: I AM NOT

Hamilson: WHY ARE YOU GUYS AWAKE ITS 4 AM

freckledJesus: i don't go to bed until you do

freckledJesus: aLEX SING FOR ME YOU BEAUTIFUL ANGEL

Hamilson: w h y

freckledJesus: because i love you??? and im awake??? and herc and laf are out cold???

Hamilson: you make a compelling argument

freckledJesus: please come sing me to sleep

Hamilson: alright alright but just this once

\---

eatmybaguette: wHY DIDN'T YOU WAKE US UP FOR THIS, MON PETIT LION?

Hamilson: it was

Hamilson: FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING

Hamilson: YOU WOULD HAVE SLICED MY HEAD OFF IN A FIT OF RAGE

eatmybaguette: true

landofthefree: look at that alexander is actually good at something

landofthefree: like really good damn

Hamilson: did you just

Hamilson: did you just compliment me

landofthefree: ye s ???

freckledJesus: who fucked with alex he woke me up and started pacing around the room

freckledJesus: oh i jsut read what happened

landofthefree: am i not allowed to compliment people

Hamilson: iT'S COMING FROM YOU OF COURSE NOT

Hamilson: WHAT DO YOU WANT

Hamilson: YOU WILL NOT GET THE SATISFACTION OF TOYING WITH MY FEELINGS

landofthefree: WELL FUCK YOU TOO I DIDNT KNOW A COMPLIMENT FROM ME WAS SO FUCKING BAD FOR YOU

landofthefree: I TRY TO BE NICE FOR ONCE AND I GET TREATED LIKE SHIT SLL OVER AGAIN

landofthefree: I HATE YOU ALEXANDER HAMILTON

landofthefree has left the group chat

Hamilson: he was actually angry wasn't he

eatmybaguette: oui oui

Hamilson: shit

freckledJesus: what the fuck

HERCSMASH: what did i miss

freckledJesus: alex fucked up

HERCSMASH: so nothing important?

Hamilson: HEY


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can you guess who madhatter is

MADHATTER added freckledJesus to a group chat

MADHATTER: help

MADHATTER: thomas has been quiet for two days straight this isn't like him

MADHATTER: you seem like the nicest out of that group of people

MADHATTER: please talk to him

\---

freckledJesus added landofthefree to a group chat

freckledJesus renamed the chat to LETS TALK JEFFEROSN

landofthefree: you spelt my name wrong

freckledJesus: shut up

freckledJesus: this is about alex

landofthefree: i assumed so

landofthefree: look i don't want to talk about this or about him

landofthefree: i over reacted

freckledJesus: jefferson i don't think it was just an over reaction

landofthefree: laurens it was just that, now drop it

freckledJesus: jefferson

freckledJesus: thomas!

landofthefree has left the group chat

\---

Hamilson: did you talk to him

Hamilson: did you

Hamilson: diiiid yoouuu

Hamilson: ..john?

Hamilson: i see you reading these why aren't you replying

Hamilson: john are you mad at me

Hamilson: john where are you

freckledJesus: you need to fix this

Hamilson: you know i can't talk to jefferson, we end up arguing !

freckledJesus: how would you feel if whenever you complemented someone they act like you just burnt them with a cattle prod

freckledJesus: yeah that's what i thought

freckledJesus: go NOW

\---

Hamilson added landofthefree to a group chat.

Hamilson: i see you typing but just stop and read or i won't be able to do this

Hamilson: im sorry that i reacted so badly to that compliment, i'm just used to being treated badly by you

Hamilson: its like our own thing, teasing each other so a compliment out of the blue is going to make anyone and everyone you argue with 24/8 very confused and alarmed

Hamilson: i added the eight because we fight even longer than a normal day

Hamilson: anyways i guess what i'm trying to say is the reason i reacted so badly was because that compliment uhhh

Hamilson: it made me sort of happy

Hamilson: im not used to experiencing any sort of happiness from you so

Hamilson: maybe we could

Hamilson: maybe we are

Hamilson: kinda friends

Hamilson: and that scared me???

Hamilson: idk this is stupid i'm leaving

Hamilson has left the group chat

landofthefree: i want to be friends too.


	7. 7

sinnamonbun: guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys

sinnamonbun: guess what

landofthefree: what

sinnamonbun added LadyMaria to the group chat

LadyMaria named this group FUCK YEAH MARIA IS HERE 

LadyMaria: BOW DOWN BITCHES

landofthefree: LOOK DOWN

landofthefree: YOUR TALKING TO YOUR HIGHNESS

eatmybaguette: CAN'T SEE ME IM THE REASON FOR YOUR BLINDNESS

landofthefree: TRY THIS

Hamilson: BUT IM TOO CLASSY FOR YOUR LINES

eatmybaguette: GOT MY DOUBLE CUPS UP

landofthefree: THAT'S THE REASON THAT IM LIKE THIS

Hamilson: THAT'S THE REASON THAT IM LIKE THIS

landofthefree: HA BEAT YOU BITCH

Hamilson: *ANNOYED WHEEZE*

peg-leg: https://youtu.be/Ft94KwNyaC8

HERCSMASH: is that a beyonce song

Hamilson: PEGGY I LOVE YOU

HERCSMASH: everyone run as fast as you can alex is singing beyonce songs again

freckledJesus: at least he's good at singing

landofthefree: i hate you all

Hamilson: <3333

\---

LadyMaria: OK GUYS IM TEXTINF MADISON AND HES LITERALLY KILLING ME 

LadyMaria: LIKE HOENSTL YYT

peg-leg: tell me again how you became friends with madison

LadyMaria: we fucked before i realized i was a lesbian

peg-leg: o h

LadyMaria added MADHATTER to the group chat

Hamilson: why the FUCK

Hamilson: did you ADD HIM

MADHATTER: rude

LadyMaria: SEND THE PICTURE BEFORE JEFFERSON NOTICES

MADHATTER: oh yeah lmao

MADHATTER attached four files

Hamilson: is that

Hamilson: is he rapping a biggie song

Hamilson: shirtless

eatmybaguette: alex stop re watching the video

Hamilson: you don't control me

peg-leg: fuRIOUSLY BLUSHES

angel: i set my phone down for FIVE MINUTES

angel: and i get a video of jefferson rapping that i did not need in my life

landofthefree: WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

MADHATTER: ¯\\(ツ)/¯

landofthefree: DELETE THAT VIDEO PLEASE

Hamilson: i didn't know you liked biggie (:

landofthefree has left the group chat

LadyMaria: i regret joining  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i dont think i mentioned this but the Schuyler sisters were adopted by George Washington - Alexander was also adopted by him - so they're all siblings

Hamilson changed the group name to SUPER KAWAII JAPANESE SCHOOL GIRLS

angel: alex WHAT THE FUCK

Hamilson: I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE THINGS OUT AND I DIDNT KNOW IT WOULD CHANGE THE NAME OF THE GROUP CHAT

angel: but WHY

Hamilson: I SAW IT ON TUMBLR

Hamilson: oh btw i signed up for tumblr

peg-leg: don't fight the feminazi's you'll never win

Hamilson: already beaten two of them who says i can't go for a third

LadyMaria: alex you are a feminist

Hamilson: let mE HAVE THIS ONE THING

MADHATTER: guys guys i talked to thomas during class and we came up with a game

landofthefree: take a shot every time daddy g calls alex son

Hamilson: NO

HERCSMASH: OH MY GOD

HERCSMASH: THAT'S SO MEAN

freckledJesus: herc you're laughing so loudly your disrupting the peace in the pizzeria

HERCSMASH: fucking traitor

Hamilson: I'll kill you all and feed you to the wild dogs down the street

landofthefree: alex your weaker than a baby deer

Hamilson: I WILL NOT HESITATE TO GO OVER THERE AND KILL YOU

peg-leg added DaddyG to the group chat

peg-leg: dad dad dad

peg-leg: say it

DaddyG: Son?

Hamilson: STOP

landofthefree: aw don't freak out son

eatmybaguette: son

HERCSMASH: calm down son

Hamilson: next person to call me sob gets their throat slit open

freckledJesus: don't be like that son

Hamilson: ok daddy

HERCSMASH: JOHN SPIT HIS WATER ALL OVER ME

HERCSMASH: I REGRET VISITING HIM AT WORK IM LEAVING

angel: NO EW

peg-leg: b l a c k m a i l

sinnamonbun: EW EW EwWwWwwww

LadyMaria: kinky

freckledJesus: ¯\\(ツ)/¯


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> is that PLOT i see?

landofthefree added angel to a group chat

angel: what is this about jefferson

angel: *narrows eyes*

landofthefree: drop the hostilities

landofthefree: you're the only person i can come to for this

landofthefree: you're the only one who'll understand

angel: ????

landofthefree: you used to like alexander before he became your official brother right?

angel: yeah??? he was cool???

landofthefree: i mean like like, love like

angel: oh

angel: oh dear

angel: was it that obvious?

landofthefree: anyone who looked at you could tell you were completely enamored by him

landofthefree: but since everyone knew he was possibly going to become your brother no one said anything

landofthefree: they just thought you were excited

angel: and how did you figure out that i /loved/ him?

landofthefree: i can figure out anything with a little bit of digging

angel: well why are you confronting me about this then? i'm over it?

landofthefree: because i need to know how you got over the crush

landofthefree: because i may like a certain someone a bit more than a friend should

angel: who

angel: WAIT

angel: thomas no

landofthefree: dont call me thomas

angel: please no

angel: tell me its not who i think it is

angel: thomas TELL ME

angel: ITS NOT WHO I THINK IT IS

landofthefree: WELL IT IS SO FUCKING HELP ME

angel: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT

angel: listen up

\---

angel invited sinnamonbun, LadyMaria and peg-leg to a group chat

angel named the group chat THE SCHUYLER SISTERS (plus maria)'S PLAN TO SAVE JEFFERSON

sinnamonbun: what did you do

peg-leg: ??????

angel: jefferson is in love with alex

peg-leg: wOAG EOAH

sinnamonbun: !!!!!!

peg-leg: eliza just screamed

LadyMaria: i was told to get in what's goin--- oh

LadyMaria: OH OH OHHH

angel: we need to help him

peg-leg: help him with what???

angel: we need to help him get into that damned poly relationship even if it kills us

peg-leg: didnt we ALL just hate jefferson like two weeks ago what happened

LadyMaria: hey i was friends with him before this

peg-leg: did you also fuck him

LadyMaria: you little hEcker

sinnamonbun: ):

angel: WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC

angel: which boy are we going to make love jefferson first

peg-leg: i vote lafayette as the first boy, he falls for people easily

LadyMaria: does he really???

peg-leg: idk i just assumed

sinnamonbun: uhh, john could be after laf

LadyMaria: then herc and alex

angel: laf, john, herc and alex is the order were going in

angel: alright girls, time for WORK

LadyMaria: WORK

sinnamonbun: WORK

peggy: WORK

\---

angel: listen up

angel: im not going to help you because im sure if you spent time with each boy and person

angel: you could date them all

landofthefree: i don't want to date them !!!

angel: trust me you do

angel: and im going to help you so don't fucking complain

angel: got it?

landofthefree has left the group chat

angel: oh you poor boy


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this seems messy i just stuck two things together

landofthefree: so it's like 4 am and i told alex that if he went to the bank with me i would buy him some sweets

landofthefree: so he took the bait and we got into the car looking like a bunch of thugs

landofthefree: since we were only wearing tanktops and sweatpants -- well alex had a hoodie and a snapback on

landofthefree: do you know how disgustingly hideous his snapback is tho? its purple and green and it says daddy in pink letters what the fuck

landofthefree: anyways we got the money and shit and we pulled into an all nighter gas station and i let alex choose whatever he wanted when we got inside

landofthefree: so he got a baby bottle pop and he slammed it onto the counter and shouted "i need THIS and ONLY THIS" and he scared the counter lady

landofthefree: so the counter lady got scared and though we were crack addicts or something because she refused to let us buy the bbp

landofthefree: so alex slammed his hands onto the counter and yelled "LOOK LADY I JUST WANT A BABY BOTTLE POP OKAY ITS BEEN A LONG DAY I HAVEN'T SLEPT AND I RAN OUT OF COFFEE WHILE WORKING ON AN ESSAY FOR MY ENGLISH CLASS AND I JUST WANT SOMETHING SWEET SO I CAN CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND ENJOY MYSELF FOR A BIT OK SO GIVE ME THE FUCKING BABY BOTTLE POP ILL PAY YOU SPECIFICALLY EXTRA MONEY FOR IT OK JUST PLEASE"

landofthefree: so alex gets his baby bottle pop and we get kicked out of the gas station for disturbance of peace

landofthefree: alex angrily ate all of his bbp like 5 minutes ago and now he's out cold next to me

landofthefree: i got to experience alexanders true anger

landofthefree: over a BABY BOTTLE POP

landofthefree: god save me i can't handle this friendship

\---

eatmybaguette: what the fUck

eatmybaguette: YOU GUYS NEVER SLEEP

HERCSMASH: do you still have alex ????

landofthefree: yeah he's out cold on my couch

freckledJesus: ...jeff, have you slept yet?

freckledJesus: thomas

landofthefree: don't call me thomas

landofthefree: and i haven't but i'm fine

HERCSMASH: ????????

eatmybaguette: you guys never sleep do you

eatmybaguette: eu u gghhh

\---

Hamilson: guys i went over to jeffs to hang out

eatmybaguette: went over you basically live there

Hamilson: SHUSH LET ME FINISH

Hamilson: anyways madison was there and he informed me that jefferson and him are gonna play a slap game

HERCSMASH: ?????

freckledJesus: you slap each other until someone backs out

Hamilson: thank you babe

Hamilson: ok but they started it and they started off with soft taps

Hamilson: that was five minutes ago

Hamilson: they're super fucking stubborn their faces are bright red

Hamilson: tHEY'RE WRESTLING NOW HELP

Hamilson: MADISON KEEOS TRTING TO GRSB MY LE GS

Hamilson: ?$& hi. Jsnsn&=:O ´·

freckledJesus: i thought we were going out to eat today, alex ...

freckledJesus: guess not ..

\---

eatmybaguette added freckledJesus and HERCSMASH to a group chat

HERCSMASH: ?????

eatmybaguette: we need to talk about alexander

freckledJesus: he's been spending more time with jefferson than with us

freckledJesus: and we're DATING HIM

eatmybaguette: I KNOW AND WHEN HE'S WITH US ALL HE TALKS ABOUT IS JEFFERSON

freckledJesus: "JEFFERSON DID THIS JEFFERSON DID THAT"

freckledJesus: i actually regret getting alex to talk to jeff now

HERCSMASH: guys calm down

HERCSMASH: alex doesn't make friends easily these days

HERCSMASH: and to suddenly become friends with someone you thought hated you?? id be relieved and excited too

eatmybaguette: can we at least tell him to spend more time with us

HERCSMASH: i suppose, but don't yell at him ok??

freckledJesus: ok

eatmybaguette: je ne suis pas rien promettre!

freckledJesus: LAFAYETTE

eatmybaguette: FINE OK


	11. Chapter 11

Hamilson: jeff

Hamilson: jeeffff

Hamilson: thomas

landofthefree: what

Hamilson: i can't hang out for a couple of days

landofthefree: ????

Hamilson: im taking my significant others to the beach a few towns over and then were gonna stay at a hotel

Hamilson: i asked if you could come but they said no???

landofthefree: whatever

landofthefree: doesn't fucking matter

Hamilson: jeff

Hamilson: jeff???

\---

Hamilson: where are you guys at

eatmybaguette: we're coming down mon petit lion, do not worry

HERCSMASH: we would be down now iF JOHN WASN'T SO FOCUSED ON PLAYING GEOMETRY DASH

freckledJesus: FUCK YOU ALEX SHOWED ME THIS

eatmybaguette: calm down mon aime's, it's time to enjoy ourselves!!

freckledJesus: true

Hamilson: i love you guys

freckledJesus: we love you too

HERCSMASH: so much <3333

landofthefree has changed the name to wrong group chat you disgusting fucks

freckledJesus: RUDE

eatmybaguette: this is why i didn't want him to come

Hamilson: guys come on

eatmybaguette: je ne veux pas lui ici >:(

landofthefree: je parle français, lafayette

landofthefree has left the group chat

HERCSMASH: ???!??!?

Hamilson: laf said that they didn't want jeff here and jeff replied saying he can speak french

freckledJesus: i feel kinda bad now

eatmybaguette: i am the one who fucked up now aren't i

eatmybaguette: pourquoi la vie doit être si dur!

-  

landofthefree added angel to a group chat

landofthefree: schuyler i need you to call me

angel: ????

landofthefree: things have gotten worse

landofthefree: everyone except alex hates me and it hurts a lot more than it should

landofthefree: i want to go back to being mean - i could cover up my feelings with sarcasm and keep everyone at a comfortable distance

landofthefree: i won't feel so bad if i do

angel has started a call

call ended by landofthefree - 10:34 minutes

angel: you didn't have to end the call

angel: you're allowed to feel jeff

landofthefree: i don't want to feel

landofthefree: i don't want to love alexander hamilton

landofthefree: i don't want to exist

landofthefree has left the group chat


	12. Chapter 12

Hamilson: WE'VE FINALLY MADE IT TO THE FUCKING BEACH

Hamilson: WE WERE DRIVING FOR LITERALLY SIX HOURS BECAUSE LAFAYETTE'S GPS KEPT RECALCULATING AND BREAKING

Hamilson: YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THEM THEY WERE SWEATINF IT WAS HILARIOUS

eatmybaguette: fight me

Hamilson: hell no you'll break my neck

eatmybaguette: <3

HERCSMASH: fucking get out of the kitchen and come to bed

\---

sinnamonbun: you guys are nerds

sinnamonbun: cute nerds

sinnamonbun: but nerds

freckledJesus: i'll take that as a compliment

eatmybaguette: thank you, bébé oiseau

Hamilson: did you just call my sister a baby bird

sinnamonbun: oh

LadyMaria: jESUS YOU GUYS TALK A LOT I HAD LIKE 100 NOTIFS

LadyMaria: what did i miss

Hamilson: this dick

LadyMaria: im offended

freckledJesus: its not much for a dick tbh

HERCSMASH: IM CR TIN G

Hamilson left the group chat

sinnamonbun: W He E Ze

HERCSMASH added Hamilson to the group chat

Hamilson: now im the one who's offended

LadyMaria: fucking suffer

angel: okay everyone's here

angel: real quick has anyone talked to jeff???

Hamilson: i did yesterday???

eatmybaguette: so did me herc and john but that was the last time 

HERCSMASH: laf kinda fucked up when we were talking to him 

eatmybaguette: why must you hurt me like this

HERCSMASH: but why are you asking

angel: i just haven't heard from him is all

angel: that's it

Hamilson: alright ??

\---

angel: okay guys its time to talk

angel: its been two days since jefferson talked to me and he wasn't at the school or at the coffee shop down the street

Hamilson: why are you so worried about him suddenly??

angel: aren't you worried??

Hamilson: not really

Hamilson: everyone's gone out into the water im going to join them

Hamilson: cya

angel: fucking hell

\---

eatmybaguette: i am sad

angel: why

eatmybaguette: we're heading back and everyone's already asleep

eatmybaguette: i drive down a lonely road

eatmtbaguette: the only road i have ever known

angel: GET OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE BEFORE YOU KILL EVERYONE

\---

HERCSMASH: we just got back to our dorm and alex already went to go see jeff

angel: tell him to come back its no use

HERCSMASH: ???

angel: he's been missing for five days herc

angel: i tried to tell alex that he was missing but he didn't listen

HERCSMASH: !!!!

HERCSMASH: i told laf and they dropped their bags i feel bad

eatmybaguette: this is my fault isn't it???

freckledJesus: shit is he really missing?? have you looked everywhere??

angel: yes!!!! he told me to call him and when i did he started to get emotional and then he hung up and said he wished he didn't exist !!!!!!!

freckledJesus: oh my god

freckledJesus: there's so much we don't know

HERCSMASH: oh god alexander is back and he's so confused i don't know what to tell him

Hamilson: ????!!?!??!!?!??!!!!!

eatmybaguette: you don't have to tell him now

angel: what do we do now??

MADHATTER: what's going on

Hamilson: MADISON WHERE IS JEFFERSON 

MADHATTER: oh he went back to virginia

MADHATTER: he was packing clothes and shit and he said he would be back in a week and left without any explanation

MADHATTER: what did i miss??

LadyMaria: everyone seems to be asking that today

MADHATTER: huh?

LadyMaria: read up you nerd

MADHATTER: I'm hurt

MADHATTER: ):


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ohhhh a special post

Hamilson has added MADHATTER to a group chat

Hamilson: have you heard from jeff????

MADHATTER: yeah man we skyped yesterday

MADHATTER: he was surrounded by his little brothers and sisters and i've never seen him happier

Hamilson: that sounds adorable you lucky fuck

MADHATTER: hell yeah i'm lucky

MADHATTER: anyways he says he'll be home in two days

MADHATTER: don't know what time but i'll message you man

Hamilson: thank you

\---

Hamilson: guys jeff will be home tomorrow !!

eatmybaguette: oh thank the heavens

HERCSMASH: hell yeah

freckledJesus: im excited and all but the reason he left was us

freckledJesus: how are we going to fix this??

Hamilson: i didn't do anything wrong

eatmybaguette: ALEX

Hamilson: FINE

HERCSMASH: the only thing we can do is apologise 

freckledJesus: i suppose so

HERCSMASH: guys please come to bed

HERCSMASH: im sad

eatmybaguette: were coming

\---

Alexander hadn't meant to stay up all night, but the more he thought about Thomas coming home, the more he found himself looking at his phone. Before he knew it, it was six in the morning and he was staring at his nearly dead phone, eyes burning.

Letting out a small sigh, he looked down at his date mates, who were all curled up around him, peacefully asleep. Reaching over, he rubbed Hercules bare back, a small smile on his face. They were all so cute when they slept.

A sudden buzz from his phone made him jump and rip his hand off of Hercules. Frantically, he unlocked his phone and clicked on the message, his heart racing.

MADHATTER: He's outside

Alexander made a strangled noise and pushed himself onto his feet, shakily stepping over the bodies all tangled together, before he reached the edge and hopped off. He heard Hercules begin to ask him something, but he was out the door before he could hear the rest of it.

\---

HERCSMASH: alex just jumped out of the bed and ran out of the door??

angel: ???

HERCSMASH: he wasn't even wearing a shirt what the heck

HERCSMASH: i'm waking everyone up we're gonna go after him

peg-leg: tell us what happened later

sinnamonbun: im curious 00;

angel: ??!??!??!??

\---

Thomas shivered slightly as he pushed open the front gate's of the dorm, stepping inside. It was oddly cold this morning, and since he was only wearing a lame pink tank top and a pair of khaki shorts, he felt the cold seep through his skin.

Walking down the concrete path, he glanced at the dying bushes around the dorm. When was the last time someone watered these things and cut them? Maybe he would do that in his spare time.

A buzz from his phone made him jump and he slowed to a stop, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Unlocking him phone, he opened the message, a little confused. Who would message him at six in the morning?

MADHATTER: you're welcome

Thomas blinked a few times, a confused look on his face. Looking up, he caught a glimpse of the short boy running toward him and made a panicked noise before he was literally tackled to the ground.

The panicked noise turned into a pained noise when his back hit the concrete, but the pain was the last thing on his mind. The only thing on his mind was how warm Alexander was, and how much he missed this touch.

"Alex.." Thomas whispered, slowly pushing himself up into a sitting position so he could relieve some pain from his probably scraped back.

"Thomas, how could you leave like that! I thought you were never coming back!" Alexander shouted, finally letting go of him. Looking Alexander in the eyes, he could see that he was relieved but also pissed beyond belief. 

Thomas shrunk in on himself a bit, and Alexander's gaze softened. "I'm sorry."

A sigh escaped the shorter boy, and he simply pulled Thomas back into a hug. Hesitantly, he wrapped a hand around Alexander, using his other hand to keep them sitting up.

"Alex?" A rough voice called from behind them that could only belong to Hercules made Alexander let go and turn to look at him. Herc stood with Lafayette and John. While John and Herc looked relieved, Lafayette was staring at Thomas, their hands covering their mouth as they held back tears.

Thomas gulped, and before he could realize what was happening, Alex had pulled him onto his feet and he was standing before the three other men who hated him beyond belief.

Or so he thought.

The first person to talk was Hercules. He had a calm smile on his face, and his voice was just as equally calm and relieved. "I'm glad you're back, T."

John was the second one to talk, literally second after Herc. He grabbed Thomas's hands, an angered look on his face. "How could you leave like that?!" His anger faded quickly and a smile appeared on his face. "Well, anyways, I'm glad you're back."

Thomas already felt tears running down his cheeks, but he didn't brother to wipe them. As happy as he was to know that they missed him, his eyes were locked on a certain french person who still had to apologize.

Lafayette opened and closed their mouth, tears that matched Thomas's running down their face. They seemed to be at a loss for words, and Thomas was about to accept the fact that he wouldn't apologize when he was pulled into a hug.

"I'm sorry," Lafayette whispered into his ear, before hiding their face in his shoulder. That was more than enough, Thomas decided, wrapping his arms around Lafayette's waist.

As everyone took turns hugging Thomas over and over, and even though someone realized that his shoulders were bleeding from Alex's sudden attack, he couldn't help but grin the entire time. He just felt so, well, happy.

When they decided it was time to go inside, Thomas lingered back a bit, picking his phone up off the ground. Staring down at the message from Madison, he smiled warmly, typing out a quick reply before he ran to the entrance of the dorm so he could catch up with his friends.

landofthefree: thank you.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this ones really bad im sorry

Hamilson sent look.jpg

HERCSMASH: wait 

HERCSMASH: why are their two of you

landofthefree: its me

eatmybaguette: i put jeff's hair back for him and he looks just like me?????

HERCSMASH: im a little scared

freckledJesus: wE HAVE ONE LAF WE DONT NEED ANOTHER

eatmybaguette: RUDE

Hamilson: I NEARLY HAD A FUCKING HEART ATTACK WHEN I WALKED IN ON THEM I THOUGHT ALIENS TOOK LAF AND CLONED HIM

HERCSMASH: did you really

Hamilson: of course i did who wouldn't

freckledJesus: me

eatmybaguette: me

HERCSMASH: me

landofthefree: me

Hamilson: ANYWAYS are you hanging out without us

eatmybaguette: yes we are mon petit lion

landofthefree: he was the only one who was free

eatmybaguette: i painted mon beau corbeau's nails !

Hamilson: did you call him your beautiful crow

landofthefree: did you call me your beautiful crow

HERCSMASH: what is happening

eatmybaguette: you can't prove anything

Hamilson: WE ARE FLUENT IN FRENCH

eatmybaguette: dAMNIT

freckledJesus: what color did you paint his nails tho

freckledJesus: that's the real question

eatmybaguette sent BABYBLUE.jpg

Hamilson: PAINT MY NAILS TOO 

freckledJesus: they're so bright against his skin ;00

landofthefree: wHEN DID YOU TAKE THAT I WASNT EVEN LOOKING

eatmybaguette: hehe

HERCSMASH: we all gotta have movie night

HERCSMASH: so we can all hang out together

landofthefree: im free any night this week so when would we do it

freckledJesus: TONIGHT

Hamilson: TONIGHT

eatmybaguette: TONIGHT, MON BEAU CORBEAU 

HERCSMASH: oh god

landofthefree: tonight it is then

\---

landofthefree added angel to a group chat.

angel: what up

landofthefree: alex and laf started making out next to me

landofthefree: and it actually hurts a lot

landofthefree: i really want to leave

angel: tell them it makes you uncomfortable then??

landofthefree: every time i try to my words die in my throat

angel: ive only gone through something like this once being aroace and all

angel: but i left right away because it was the library

angel: but these are your friends and those were strangers for me

angel: you should be able to tell them?

landofthefree: i feel like im going to cry

landofthefree: ALEX MOANED IM LEAVING

angel: oh dear

angel: your poor boy

landofthefree has left the group chat.


	15. Chapter 15

Hamilson added sinnamonbun to a group chat.

Hamilson: i felt bad for making thomas uncomfortable last night what do i do

sinnamonbun: ive only heard this from ange since she treats him like her son and talks about him

sinnamonbun: but he likes the mall / he likes the big fountain inside

Hamilson: thanks eli <3

sinnamonbun: <3

\---

landofthefree: do you guys know how pREtTY the fountain in the mall is

landofthefree: its pastel blue and its so pretty i love it

landofthefree: and its filled with coins it must be magical

HERCSMASH: you are a literal child omg

eatmybaguette: says the disney super fan

HERCSMASH: shhh

freckledJesus: SEND PICTURES I LOVE THAT FOUNTAIN WITH EVERYTHING IN MY SOUL

landofthefree sent <3333.jpg

freckledJesus: <3333

eatmybaguette: IS ALEX IN THE FOUNTAIN

landofthefree: /nervously sweats

eatmybaguette: GET HIM OUT OF THE FOUNTAIN

eatmybaguette: COME BACK

eatmybaguette: ALEX

eatmybaguette: T H O M A S

\---

HERCSMASH: kill me

sinnamonbun: what's wrong 

HERCSMASH: alex came home in light up shoes

HERCSMASH: all i see is red white blue red white blue when he walks

angel: ew

angel: this is why he is my least favorite brother

sinnamonbun: HES YOUR ONLY BROTHER

angel: ¯\\(ツ)/¯

HERCSMASH: that's not the baddest thing

HERCSMASH: thomas came home in neon green heely's

peg-leg: THEY STILL SELL THOSE WHERE DID HE GET THEM

peg-leg: i mean

peg-leg: woooowww

sinnamonbun: PEG NO

Hamilson: PEG NO

peg-leg: alex you don't get a sAY IN THIS

Hamilson: DON'T JOIN HIS SIDE

landofthefree: come to the dark side

landofthefree: we have heely's

Hamilson: your heely's suck

landofthefree: at least im faster that you you slowpoke

angel: wow

Hamilson: you looking for a fight

landofthefree: maybe i am

Hamilson: where when what time

landofthefree: outside. now. heely's and glow shoes drawn.

Hamilson: your on.

angel: RECORD THIS PLEASE

MADHATTER: I don't check my phone often but I'm glad I did.

MADHATTER: Send a video please.

HERCSMASH: why

MADHATTER: It's blackmail material.

HERCSMASH: fair

eatmybaguette: they're actually outside we're actually going outside

eatmybaguette: oh my god they're stretching

eatmybaguette: they told me to count to three and when i did thomas sped ahead and alex is running im

eatmybaguette: red white blue red white blue

peg-leg: 'murica

HERCSMASH sent a video.

Hamilson: i totally won

angel: YEAH BECAUSE THOMAS FACEPLABTED IS HE. OK

landofthefree: true heely master's don't feel pain

LadyMaria: i hate all of you

eatmybaguette: agreed


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alexander doesn't know when to shut up

freckledJesus: alex got banned from starbucks

HERCSMASH: THAT WAS THE ONLY PLACE WE HAD LEFT

eatmybaguette: now i have to go run for coffee don't i

sinnamonbun: aLEX YOU HAD ONE JOB

HERCSMASH: what happened

freckledJesus: well some guy was harassing a girl who worked there or smth

freckledJesus: alex got pissed and punched the guy and started going on a rant

freckledJesus: saying the girl wasn't his toy and she was independent and that he was a disgusting pig

freckledJesus: at this point he was on top of a table

freckledJesus: and he started screaming about how all men are pigs and disgusting and that they need to stop harassing girls and get a life

freckledJesus: and when someone pointed out that he was a guy

freckledJesus: he shouted "I'M GAY" at the top of his lungs and kicked a coffee off the table he was standing on

freckledJesus: and then we got forcefully removed from starbucks

HERCSMASH: THAT MEANS HE LIKES GUYS

HERCSMASH: AND HE ISNT EVEN GAY

peg-leg: *slowly claps*

angel: WHERE IS HE 

angel: I NEED TO GIVE HIM A HUG

landofthefree: DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM

angel: you're just as much of a pig as all the other men are

landofthefree: WHAFV ThE GUCK

freckledJesus: i took his phone away

freckledJesus: he's fuming

eatmybaguette: give his phone back to him let us yell at him

Hamilson: YOU ARE ALL OPPRESSING ME

Hamilson: THIS IS MENTAL ABUSE

Hamilson: I'LL SUE YOU ALL

landofthefree: how did i end up being your friend again

Hamilson: SHUT UP YOU PIG

Hamilson: HE WAS GOING TO START FONDLING HER

Hamilson: I HAD TO STOP HIM AND PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE

eatmybaguette: alex stop

sinnamonbun: im

Hamilson: NEVER

angel: YOU GO BABY

peg-leg: i don't want to deal with t h i s

Hamilson: HELL YEAH

landofthefree has left

eatmybaguette has left

peg-leg has left

sinnamonbun has left

freckledJesus has left

HERCSMASH has left

MADHATTER: What did I miss?


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cAN YOU GUESS WHO SLUSHPUPPIES IS??

LadyMaria added landofthefree, Hamilson, eatmybaguette, freckledJesus, HERCSMASH, sinnamonbun, ange, MADHATTER "and peg-leg to the group chat.

LadyMaria: you know what lets spice things up

LadyMaria added burr.sir and slushpuppies to the group chat.

burr.sir: What is this?

LadyMaria: doesn't matter i have it set to where no one can leave

LadyMaria: only me, ange, eliza and alex can kick people

LadyMaria: join us in h e l l

landofthefree: i didn't sign up for this

burr.sir: Thomas Jefferson?

landofthefree: THIS IS A TIME WHERE THE ABILITY TO LEAVE WOULD BE NICE

Hamilson: well if it isn't aaron burr

burr.sir: Sir!

Hamilson: i didn't think you would ever get added

burr.sir: To be sure!

HERCSMASH: burr

eatmybaguette: who aDDED hImMm

burr.sir: Now I see how Jefferson felt.

burr.sir: I'm just going to mute this chat for a little while.

eatmybaguette: BU rRRRr

burr.sir: Cya!

LadyMaria: what was that about

freckledJesus: they've had a bad past with burr and they're always ready to kill him 

freckledJesus: they're 10x hotter when they're mad tho

eatmybaguette: <3

Hamilson: hisses

landofthefree: shut up 

Hamilson: HISSES LOUDER

landofthefree: @burr he's with you right he's probably hissing irl calm him down

burr.sir: He bit me last time, no thanks.

landofthefree: FUCKING

freckledJesus: A L E X A N D E R

burr.sir: Hamilton, calm down.

Hamilson: you're not mY DAD

landofthefree: i didn't ASK FOR T H I S

LadyMaria: what have i done

slushpuppies: hi (: (: (:

\---

landofthefree: did i ever tell you guys that i met alex before i met you guys

HERCSMASH: ????

sinnamonbun: oooooo story time

Hamilson: we DID??!?!

landofthefree: alright so one day i ordered this expensive tea cup set for my stepmother for her birthday

landofthefree: and when it came the mailman knocked on the door and i had to sign something

landofthefree: so i took the box and said 'have a good day'

landofthefree: and the mailman looked at me and said 'don't tell me what to do' and left

landofthefree: spoilers: alex was the mailman

freckledJesus: did he

freckledJesus: did he just copy that meme

Hamilson: that was YOU?!

Hamilson: YOU'RE HAIR WAS SLICKED BSCK

landofthefree: I HAF JUST GOT OUT OF THE SHOWER

landofthefree: ALSO YOURE ONE TO SPEAK YOURE HAIR WAS LIKE 

landofthefree: BOY SHORT

landofthefree: ITS SCARY TO THINK ABOUT IT

HERCSMASH: alex when were you a mailman

HERCSMASH: when you came to new york you met us literally the same day

Hamilson: /sweats

HERCSMASH: all you had was a bag of papers alex WHEN

Hamilson kicked HERCSMASH

landofthefree: fucking savage

freckledJesus: herc is screaming alex you better run

Hamilson: fhirbthahHHHHjrjejahshHho GOTYA GO FAST

sinnamonbun: you little meme fucker

slushpuppies: and in the end no one noticed me ): )': D:


	18. Chapter 18

freckledJesus: alex is sobbing because i showed him one of my favorite musicals

freckledJesus: its the shortest musical ever - only 15 minutes long

freckledJesus: anD IT MOVES EVERYONE TO TEARS

HERCSMASH: what

landofthefree: /fades in

landofthefree: what i gotta doooo to be with yooouuuu...

landofthefree: /fades out

freckledJesus: OH MY GOD THOMAS ILY

landofthefree: *finger guns*

eatmybaguette: are you talking about that 21, uhhhh

eatmybaguette: how do you spell it

eatmybaguette: 21 chump street???

Hamilson: YESN

Hamilson: ITS SO GOODN AND SDA

HERCSMASH: what are you even saying

Hamilson: EUGAVFJSIDJ

HERCSMASH: i can hear alex crying down the hall oh my god

landofthefree: someone comfort him jesus christ

eatmybaguette: on it

\---

Hamilson: hey john you kinda look like the actor for justin

Hamilson: anthony ramos

freckledJesus: alex that was the nicest thing you've ever said to me

Hamilson: ;)

\---

Hamilson: im going to write a musical

landofthefree: alex its 4 am go to bed

Hamilson: i'll go to bed when you go to bed

landofthefree: touché

landofthefree: what would the musical even be about

Hamilson: me - us - everyone

Hamilson: our lives!

Hamilson: we've only all known each other for about two years now and everyone's stories are so diverse and different!

Hamilson: plus so many things happen in our life anyways

Hamilson: theirs something new every day, im sure i can come up with an entire musical

Hamilson: ive already written the first song

Hamilson: this is going to be life changing

landofthefree: you're such a nerd

landofthefree: im heading to bed

landofthefree: get some sleep, alex

landofthefree: night

Hamilson: ..goodnight thomas


	19. Chapter 19

Hamilson: OK GUYS

Hamilson: TEAM VALOR IS THE BEST RIGHT

burr.sir: Are you talking about that new pokemon game?

Hamilson: OFC

LadyMaria: TEAM VALOR TEAM VALOR TEAM VALOR

freckledJesus: team instinct is obviously the best

eatmybaguette: YES BLESS YOU 

eatmybaguette: TEAM INSTINCT

angel: ok WHAT is going on

Hamilson: we're trying to figure out who the best gym leader is on pokémon go

angel: well alright 

angel: everyone say what team their on

freckledJesus: instinct

eatmybaguette: instinct

Hamilson: valor

HERCSMASH: valor

LadyMaria: valor

angel: mystic

sinnamonbun: mystic

peg-leg: instinct

landofthefree: VALOR VALOR VALOR

MADHATTER: I was told to get on. I don't have Pokémon Go but I would be on mystic.

slushpuppies: what is going on

Hamilson: wait who is slushpuppies and how did they get here

LadyMaria: SAMMMYYY

slushpuppies: MARRRIIAA BABY

Hamilson: wait SAMUEL SEABURY

slushpuppies: what up bitch ;)

slushpuppies: by the way im instinct

LadyMaria: WE NEED MORE VALORS

freckledJesus: wait sam what

Hamilson: WHY DID YOU ADD SAM

LadyMaria added KING and leelee to the group chat.

Hamilson: *PANICKED WHEEZING*

KING: ooohhh, what's this? 

KING: a group chat, how exciting!!

leelee: no

Hamilson: NO

leelee: NO N O NO

leelee: WHY CAN'T I LEAVE

Hamilson: MARIA DID YOU TAKE AWAY MY KICKING OPTIONS

LadyMaria: (:

leelee: maria ily but like GET ME OUT OF HERE

LadyMaria: nah

sinnamonbun: eXCUSE ME WHO'S LOVING MY GF?!

leelee: don't worry darlin' im gay

sinnamonbun: k have fun

Hamilson: RHSJCHHNSJSIWJ5HDM

landofthefree: help im dieing

KING: don't you guys hate thomas? why is he here?

landofthefree: NOT EVERYONE HATES ME

KING: u sure

LadyMaria: GEORGE, LEE, TELL US YOUR POKÉMON GO TEAMS

leelee: wHY JUST LEt ME OUT

landofthefree: welcome to hell

KING: oh dear!! im a valor!! i love the color red!

angel: 00;

LadyMaria: awww how cute <3

angel: where she at tho

sinnamonbun: *ANGERED WHEEZE*

angel: there she is

leelee: I HATE EVERYONE

Hamilson: the feeling is mutual

LadyMaria: tell us your team charles

leelee: will you let me go if i do

LadyMaria: yes ;)

leelee: valor noW LET ME GO

LadyMaria: nope

Hamilson: IM CHANGING TEAMS

leelee: AHHHHHFFHEIUXBWNAIFURNEG

burr.sir: I'm Mystic.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i hate dentists

Hamilson: I HATE EVERYTHING

leelee: and

Hamilson: DENTISTS ARE FUCKING SADISTIC

Hamilson: "tHIS WOULD HurT LES s IF U FLOSSEd!!1!11!" FUCKING LIES

eatmybaguette: as someone who flosses everyday i can say it still hurts even if you floss

leelee: o h  m y  g o d

leelee: kill me

HERCSMASH: alexander calm down you're just over reacting

HERCSMASH: 3u3hhshah8;;#788&÷jj

HERCSMASH: shsj77!_(

angel: ???

leelee: does this happen often

landofthefree: what am i missing

HERCSMASH has changed their name to HORSEFUCKER

landofthefree: WHEEZING

HORSEFUCKER has changed their name to HERCSMASH

HERCSMASH: FUCKING RUDE

Hamilson: YOU DESERVED IT

HERCSMASH: GET BACK IN YOUR SEAT BEFORE I MAKE JOHN STOP THIS CAR AND BUCKLE YOU DOWN MYSELF WITH BARBED WIRE

Hamilson: HISSING

KING: that sounds like it would hurt??

Hamilson: NO ONE ASKED FOR YOUR OPINION

KING: );

eatmybaguette: don't worry guys alexander doesn't mean any of it

eatmybaguette: he's in pain from his dentist appointment

Hamilson: EHEVSJICJWNAMEOTJ

sinnamonbun: awww bby what can i do to make you feel better?

Hamilson: send dank memes betsy

eatmybaguette: NO

landofthefree: NOW WE'RE TALKING

sinnamonbun has sent 7 files.

angel: eliza i trusted you

sinnamonbun: (;

freckledJesus: i want to leave

KING: )));


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another special post 

Hamilson: guys

Hamilson: so my phone was dieing and i decided to get up and grab my charger

Hamilson: but in the middle of standing up i grabbed my charger off the end of my bed

Hamilson: and like my body noticed but my mind didn't

Hamilson: and i went and turned the light on but i realized what had happened the moment i turned the light on

Hamilson: so i said "what the fuck am i doing" out loud and when i explained what happened to thomas he burst into laughter

Hamilson: he's wheezing

Hamilson: i need to go to sleep

angel: alex what

peg-leg: IM WHEEZING YOU'RE A DISASTER

sinnamonbun: fucking

Hamilson: im being CYBERBULLIED

Hamilson: im feeling so ATTACKED

Hamilson: tRIGGERED

angel: so wait you're at thomas' dorm? it's like 3 am

angel: did you sleep over?

landofthefree: yes, yes he did

landofthefree: herc and john work from 12 to like rn and laf decided to go to a friends and got wasted

landofthefree: alexander was lonely

angel: lonely huh?? ;))

Hamilson: ANGE NO

peg-leg: i ship it

sinnamonbun: OMG ALEX UR LONELY

Hamilson: SHUT IT 

sinnamonbun: tHAT'S A FIRST

Hamilson: BETSY I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

landofthefree: im going back to tumblr

\---

angel: this is your chance to work on your feelings

landofthefree: what

angel: this is all messy but now is the time to stand

\---

angel: you guys should play a game

Hamilson: ???

landofthefree: ?

angel: it's called gay chicken

landofthefree: NO

Hamilson: what is that?

angel: it's where you kiss each other and the first person to touch the other person loses

angel: thomas would totally lose

Hamilson: tHomAS

Hamilson: loSINg ?!?!?!

landofthefree: alex no

Hamilson: GET UP SON WERE GONNA PLAY THIS AND IM GONNA WIN

landofthefree: nO ALExsn#8&jd\&..////

\---

Thomas was dragged out of bed in literally two seconds, making him pull his purple sheets off of the bed with him.

"Alex, I don't --"

"It'll be fun, and I'll finally win something!" Alexander shouted, somehow still energized even though he didn't sleep the entire night. Thomas opened his mouth to protest some more but instead closed it. Too tired to care and too overwhelmed with the need to kiss his short friend, he sighed.

"You know what? Fine, and you'll lose, Alexander." That was an obvious lie, but Thomas needed to keep up his reputation somehow.

Alexander grinned brightly, stepping closer to his tall friend. Thomas stepped closer as well, until they were only inches apart, and suddenly the confidence they had shattered.

Thomas flushed red and Alexander avoided looking his tall friend in the eyes. Instead, he kept them trained on Thomas' chest, his cheeks a bright shade of red.

"I'll, uh.." He paused awkwardly, making Alexander finally look him in the eyes. "Start, I guess?"

Alexander nodded, glancing to the right before looking back up at Thomas with an unsure look on his face. Closing his eyes, he leaned upwards, and Thomas' face was bright red at this point. He leaned downwards, breathing against Alexander's lips as he hesitated, right before their lips connected.

Thomas' world faded away.

Though the shorter boys lips were chapped, they made his head spin with just the slightest movement. This was already beyond how the tall boy imagined it at night, and he was in absolute bliss. He tasted wonderful, like mint and warm cocoa, and Thomas wanted more.

Opening his mouth slightly, he pressed his tongue against Alexander's own. The shorter man parted his lips effortlessly, letting Thomas explore his mouth and dear god he was in heaven.

Alexander made a low noise in his throat, the vibrations running through his tongue, nearly making Thomas growl with lust. He was about to lose his composure when Alexander's arms flew up and wrapped around his tall friends neck and suddenly Thomas was picking him up off the floor, pushing him up against the wall.

Wrapping his legs around Thomas' waist, he dug his fingers into the tall man's hair and gently pulled on it, earning a moan that made Alexander pull harder. Thomas' hands moved on their own, digging under the short man's shirt, his fingers basically clawing into his tan sides.

Their kissing grew hotter and hotter as lust took over, Thomas moved his hands from Alexander's waist, gripping his ass suddenly. Alexander moaned against his mouth, bucking forward against Thomas' bulge for any kind of friction to relieve some stress from his own growing erection.

Stars crossed Thomas' vision from the sudden contact, and he pulled his kiss swollen lips from Alexander's in a fit of panick.

Both men stared each other in the eye for a moment, searching for an explanation for what just happened, before Thomas realized what they were doing was wrong.

Nearly dropping Alexander, he set him down as quickly as possible and backed all the way up until he was against the other side of the wall. From across the room, the short man was staring at his hands, as if he only just realized what had happened actually happened.

Before he could even blink, Alexander grabbed his things off of the desk beside him and stormed out of the room. The front door opened and slammed shut, and then his dorm was filled with silence once more.

It took Thomas nearly five minutes before he could move again. Slowly, he shakily walked over to his bed, sitting down on the edge of it as he thought about what just happened for a second time.

This was it. He was going to lose Alex forever because of this. And for what he did to Alex, he was going to lose Hercules, John and Lafayette too. The idea of everyone hating him made him feel numb, and he leaned back with a sigh only to feel something lumpy against his back.

Sitting up, he turned and looked down only to find Alexander's blue hoodie laying on his bed. Just seeing that made something inside Thomas' chest snap, and before he could stop himself, he was sobbing. And not adult like sobbing, where you only cry and make noise occasionally, we're talking pure child like sobbing, wailing and shaking and such.

Pulling Alexander's hoodie to his face, he muffled his loud sobbing. It still smelt like Alexander - like the outdoors - and that only made Thomas cry even harder.

By the time Thomas stopped crying, the sun had come up hours before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the charger story actually happened to me tbh


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh dear

freckledJesus: guys where the FUCK is alex

angel: ???

eatmybaguette: we looked everywhere, in the library, outside, in the conference room, jefferson's, all the places he likes to be at

eatmybaguette: yet when we went to jeffersons, madison answered and he said it was a bad time and slammed the door in our face?

HERCSMASH: and that was really weird - but alex won't answer his phone and were really worried he ran away for some reason, like back when we met him

sinnamonbun: but why would he do that? everything's been ok so far?

HERCSMASH: that's why we're scared

angel: god damn it alexander

angel: why does he run from things 

peg-leg: guys i just got a call from dad

peg-leg: alexander stormed into the house a sobbing mess and he had to calm him down

peg-leg: and when he asked him what was going on alex ran into his old room and locked the door

freckledJesus: tell daddyG we'll be there in a few

angel: we're coming too, but we'll be like 10 minutes late

\---

As Hercules pulled into GWash's driveway, he felt the pace of his heart quicken. George only lived a few miles away from the college, since he was a professor over there, but since Alex didn't take the car it meant he ran the entire way here. Something bad definitely happened while they were a gone.

The entire way there, John was fidgeting and Laf stared out the window with a blank look on their face. 

The moment Hercules stopped the car, Lafayette was out the door in 0.2 seconds, John following suit. Hercules gulped and opened his door, quickly following after his partners.

GWash was already standing on the porch by the time all three of them made it up there, and he quickly urged them inside. It wasn't their first time inside GWash's place, but it still surprised them every time since it was so spacious and.. well.. white.

"Where's his room?" John asked, eyes wide. GWash cleared his throat, pointing down the hall. 

"Third door on the left, it has a crack in the middle of it, you can't miss it." GWash said uncomfortably, stepping aside so they could move on.

Without hesitating, Lafayette took their boyfriends hands and dragged them down the hall. John glanced at Hercules from behind Lafayette's back, both of them sharing a look of worry.

Once in front of Alexander's door, Lafayette let go of John's hand and tapped on the door with the back of his knuckles. "Alex? Mon petit lion, it's us," He paused, glancing at Hercules. "Are you okay?"

No answer. 

Hercules took a deep breath, gnawing on the bottom of his lip. "Alex?" He called out, looking down at the ground. "Will you let us in?"

No answer.

"Maybe," Lafayette turned to John. "He'll let you in? You both know each other like the back of your hands, you two dated first, maybe - maybe --" Lafayette stared at John, their eyes wide with their hands shaking against their chest. John reached up and took his Lafayette's hands, pulling them to his lips. He nodded softly.

"Alright," He whispered, turning to face the door. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against his door, letting his eyes slowly close.

Sighing, John licked his lips. "Alex, will you let me in? If you want, it'll just be me."

This time, the door clicked open. Lafayette let out a relieved laugh and Hercules simply grinned. John gave them a tight lipped smile, before moving inside.

Alexander had retreated under his blanket again, as silent as he could ever possibly be. John slowly shut the door behind him, never taking his eyes off of his boyfriend.

"Alex.."

Flinching under the blanket, Alex was still for a moment, before peeking out from under the blanket. His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot, and he quickly pulled the blanket back over his head.

Moving over to the bed, John sat on the edge of it, his eyes locked on the floor. Blowing a strand of his hair out of his eyes, he slowly looked over at the lump on the bed that was supposedly Alex. 

"Honey, what happened?" John whispered, setting his hand on the lump under the blanket. Alex flinched again, quiet sobs escaping the blanket.

Biting his lip, John pulled the blanket off of Alex who whimpered in protest. Ignoring him, he quietly pulled his boyfriend into a sitting position and pulled him into his lap.

"Shh, baby, talk to me please.." John whispered, pressing his lips to his boyfriend forehead. Alexander shook as he cried, big alligator tears running down his cheeks.

Silence filled the room, only the sound of Alex's whimpers breaking the silence every now and then.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Alex finally calmed down and stopped crying. Removing his face from John's chest, he wiped his eyes with the palms of his hands. 

"J-John.. John I don't.." Alex opened and closed his mouth, sighing. He wiped his eyes as the tears came back.

"I cheated on all of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliFFHANGER


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi

John made a noise and stood up, making Alexander fall onto the ground with a thump.

Nearly stumbling over him, John turned around and backed up, staring down at Alex as if he was some disgusting bug.

"How - How could you - with who?!" John shouted, ripping the door open. Pulling Lafayette and Hercules into the room, the surprise in his eyes flashing into anger.

Alex stood up quickly, stumbling forward as he held his hands up in defense. 

"Alex CHEATED on us!" John shouted, turning back to face Alex. He basically bolted forward, but was held back by Hercules.

Lafayette stared at Alexander in terror, stepping forward. "Mon petit lion.. you slept with someone else?"

"Oh GOD NO!" Alex shouted, running his hand through his hair as he paced back and forth around the room. "It was just a kiss - well a make out, but I left right afterwards and I feel like shit for it!"

Hercules stared at Alexander, no emotion on his face whatsoever. "I have a pretty good idea on who it is, but please inform your partners." Herc hissed, making Alex flinch.

Slowing to a stop, Alex stared at all three of them for a moment before sitting back down on the bed.

"Thomas. It was Thomas." Lafayette gasped, and Alex continued. "Ange suggested we played gay chicken, and it was so early in the morning and we had almost no sleep, I wasn't thinking rationally. When we stopped I left." 

Alex glanced up at the three of them for a few seconds, then looked back down.

"For whatever it's worth - I'm sorry. You can never talk to me again if you want, I understand, I -" Alex stopped the moment he felt someone take his hand and he looked up. Lafayette smiled slightly, sitting beside him on the bed. The short man looked up at Herc and John, their eyes wide with shock.

Laf laughed a bit. "I forgive him, mes amours. I mean.." 

Flushing bright red, Lafayette looked down at their intertwined hands. "I mean, he's kind of.. hot.. y'know?"

John laughed hollowly, tossing his hands into the air. He glared at Lafayette. "Now you too? Is everyone fucking in love with Jefferson?!"

Laf stood up, eye wide. "Now think about it - Thomas is already around so much, we cuddle with him and hang out with him so much and he even held hands with Hercules when we were walking him back to his dorm!"

"That's because he was scared of the fucking dark!" John shouted, looking in-between everyone. Looking up at Herc, John opened and closed his hands, then laughed. "Do you agree with them?!"

Hercules held up his hands in defense. "Hey - don't bring me into this, I'm okay with anything that happens." Herc smiled nervously, looking back at forth from Laf and John.

John turned around to leave, but Lafayette jumped up and grabbed his arm.

"John, John -- just take a moment and talk with us!" Laf shouted, pulling John over to the bed. Taking deep breaths, John forced himself to sit down on the bed but made sure he sat as far away from Alex as he could.

Smiling, Lafayette kneeled down in between their boyfriends, taking each of their hands. Herc sighed and walked over, standing behind Lafayette with a tight lipped smile.

"Alright, listen. Maybe.. Maybe we could fix this. I mean, Alex is obviously attracted to Thomas and.. well.. I wouldn't mind him.. so maybe he could join the relationship?" Lafayette whispered, making sure he wasn't speaking too loud so he didn't get angry.

John took another deep breath, squeezing Laf's hand as he thought about it. Maybe, just maybe..

Alex finally looked away from the wall he had been staring at, glancing at John. A sigh escaped John's throat, and he leaned forward, rubbing his face with his free hand.

"Fine. Fine, we can try." John mumbled, making Laf laugh, Hercules sighed in relief, and Alex simply stared.

Hesitating for a moment, Alex scoot closer to John. He intertwined their free hands, a small smile on his face. 

John couldn't help but smile back. Hercules laughed and leaned forward, dropping on top of his partners. Alex screamed and John groaned, Lafayette only giggling at the amazing display of pda.

They would be okay. They would be alright.. right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really need someone to read through these and fix everything - that's called a beta, right? whatever - because i sure as hell ain't gonna do it


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> now it's time for tjeffs
> 
> also
> 
> john isn't very happy about the situation - he doesn't like major change - but he's trying

Alexander hadn't let go of John's hand the entire way back to the dorms. 

He was scared to let go of him - as if he would change his mind or just disappear out of their lives, and it would be his fault. As the four of them moved down the hall, they had just made it back to their dorm when some shouting caught their attention.

"Who's yelling at this time?" Lafayette asked, looking around the dorm.

Hercules narrowed his eyes, backing away from the door. He put his keys back in his pocket. "That's not a random person - that's James."

Everyone looked at each other for a moment, then they were moving down the hall.

\---

"Thomas, let me back in!" James shouted, slamming his palm against the door a couple of times. Not even a second later, Thomas opened the door, flipping his friend off before slamming it and locking it again.

James stood there, his jaw dropped. How on earth could he do that - he was just trying to help, that's all he wanted to do ever since he was a kid - he wanted to help.

He was the only one that stuck by Thomas' side all these years - through the snotty comments and rude remarks, through the fights and the screaming, through the years of torture he and Thomas had to endure. And through all that, he still stayed, he still wanted to help Thomas and be there for him.

So this? This wasn't going to stop him.

"Thomas!"

The sound of footsteps made James glance over his shoulder. When Alexander and his partners appeared in his view, he took a deep breath and rushed towards them.

"Thank god, Alex, Hercules -- John, Laf -- Thomas had locked me out of our dorm, he won't talk to me anymore!" James cried, looking the most panicked anyone has seen him in a long time.

Hercules and Laf glanced at each other, then looked back at James. "How can we help?"

A clicking sound from behind them made them all turn around. Alex stood in the entrance of the now opened front door, holding a key up in front of him.

"Thomas keeps the spare key under the placemat." He pushed the placemar forward and dropped the key underneath it again, letting the mat drop back into the floor.

Giving his partners and James a tight lipped smile, Alex turned and walker inside. Everyone else quickly rushed after him.

Once inside, everyone split up so they could look in all the rooms - and there were a lot.

\---

Gently pushing open Thomas' bedroom door, John stepped inside the dark room. The purple sheets and purple walls made John roll his eyes.

He nearly left the room, but the sound of a squeak made his pause in the doorway. Slowly, he stepped farther into the room until Thomas' closet came into view. Walking over to it, he placed his hand on the door knob and opened it.

Thomas sat inside, a blanket wrapped around him, looking up at John with a surprised look on his face. Squatting down next to him, John glanced over at the door, biting his lip.

He had never been good at comforting people, he just didn't understand how it worked. His eyes somehow wandered back to Thomas, who was now looking at the floor. Raising a hand, he went to touch Thomas' cheek, but hesitated.

The moment Thomas looked up at him, he quickly pulled his hand away as if he had been burned and stood up, moving over to the door.

"I found him!"

\---

It took them all around five minutes to gather up in Thomas' room - Alex had immediately ran into his room the moment he heard John yell, Lafayette close behind. Though, Hercules lingered back with James, and they seemed to be having a heated discussion when they walked into the room, but it was almost immediately dropped.

Thomas was sitting on the chair to his desk, across the room and away from Alex and his partners. He glanced up at James and they shared a look that only they would understand, and then James left the room.

A heavy silence filled the room - everyone seemed too scared to move, except Alex, who was fidgeting in his spot next on the end of the bed.

Finally, Lafayette broke the silence. "Thomas, uh, we --"

"We want to date you!" Alex blurted out, quickly covering his mouth a second later. Thomas nearly fell out of his chair when he heard the news, making a strangled noise as he stared at them with wide eyes.

Lafayette glanced at John, who was staring at the floor with a blank look on his face. Smiling nervously, they looked back at Thomas, their smile becoming a bit more genuine. "Ah, yes mon corbeau."

Staring at the four people sitting on his bed, Thomas' jaw had dropped. He seemed completely frozen, making Alex shift nervously next to John, squeezing his hand. John finally looked up, glancing up at Thomas.

Thomas gaped at them in shock, opening and closing his mouth as he tried to think of an answer. Nodding fervently, he finally said something. "I - I - yes --" He whispered. 

Alexander finally let go of John's hand, jumping off the bed excitedly. Lafayette watched him fondly, Hercules laughing at the short man's excited shenanigans. The only people who weren't watching were Thomas and John, who were staring at each other.

Thomas was just trying to understand why John was showing no emotion whatsoever to the situation unfolding before him - it looked like he wasn't even in the room, his body may be there but his mind wasn't. John was trying to let the situation sink into his skin, but the more he and Thomas stared at each other, the more his blood began to freeze with fear underneath his skin. He wanted it to stop, he didn't like this, he didn't like this new set of eyes on him.

John quickly flashed Thomas a small smile, and even though Thomas hesitated a bit, he smiled back. Finally looking away, he brushed the blanket off of his shoulders and stood up, moving over to his new.. boyfriends? Maybe it was too soon to call them that. Oh well.

They all looked in between each other, small smiles on their face. Alex didn't hesitate to take Thomas' hand, and Hercules took his other a moment later.

"Finally," James called from outside the room. "Now I can finally get some sleep!"

Everyone burst into laughter.


	25. Chapter 25

peg-leg: where are my boys

peg-leg: i am TRIGGERED

angel: use that word one more time and ill block you

peg-leg: );

sinnamonbun: but honestly its been two hours?

sinnamonbun: ????

burr.sir: What have I missed?

angel: have you seen alex and the gang?

burr.sirr: No, I've been taking care of Theodosia Jr. all day. Why?

sinnamonbun: they've been gone for two hours !!!

peg-leg: maybe alex slipped on his heelys and fell off the earth

angel: peggy i swear to god this is serious

peg-leg: i am serious!

burr.sir: Yeah, I'm not dealing with this. Cya.

\---

sinnamonbun: FOUR HOURS

LadyMaria: babe calm down

leelee: IT'S MIDNIGHT STOP TEXTING AND GO TO BED

sinnamonbun: FIGHT ME LEE

leelee: FINE

leelee: ,,,

leelee: which one is sinn a mo nb u,,n ag ai  n,,,,

burr.sir: Eliza. But seriously, how much longer can they really disappear for? 

KING: oh dear, what's going on?

peg-leg: alex and his boyfriends and jefferson flew off to invisible land and are having a bomb ass heely party without us

peg-leg: no one knows where they are

KING: ..heely.. parties..?

leelee: i say we leave them alone and hope they never come back

LadyMaria: what yourself son i know where you live >·>

sinnamonbun: im really worried - they're all good boys, i want to know where they are

sinnamonbun: are they safe? are they happy? what happened? im so worried

LadyMaria: shh shhh

LadyMaria: im coming over, love

sinnamonbun: <3

leelee: ew

\---

landofthefree: hi

angel: THANK GOD

peg-leg: BABY BOY MY BEAUTIFUL SON ARE YOU OKAY

sinnamonbun: JFJSBGJSJ

sinnamonbun: IM GONNA CRY WHERE WERE YOU

burr.sir: I'm curious as well, where have you guys been??!

KING: oh my

landofthefree: sTop tYpiNG SO fasT

Hamilson: *sweats nervously*

sinnamonbun: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

sinnamonbun: FIVE HOURS FIFTEEN MINUTES AND FORTY TWO SECONDS

sinnamonbun: WHERE WERE YOU?! WHERES HERC AND JOHN AND LAF

eatmybaguette: calm down, mon chaton

HERCSMASH: we're here

freckledJesus: aHahaHAaHaha hi

sinnamonbun: DO NOT LAUGH AT ME JOHN FUCKING LAURENS

freckledJesus: sOrry ma'am

angel: Alexander Hamilton

Hamilson: *gulps*

angel: where the FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN

Hamilson: on a date with my four boyfriends....???

sinnamonbun: YOU COULD HAVE TOLD US BEFORE MAKING ME WORRY SO MUCH I ALMOST HAD A PANICK ATTACK

peg-leg: wait - four?

leelee: ?????

Hamilson: yes, four - hercules, john, lafayette and

landofthefree: me

angel: *SURPRISED WHEEZING*

LadyMaria: fucking hell

sinnamonbun: you owe me twenty bucks my beautiful wife

HERCSMASH: YOU BET ON US???

peg-leg:

peg-leg: bet on it (bet on it)

lee: burr owes me thirty

burr.sir: You'll never catch me alive.

Hamilson: CHARLES FUCJING LEE BELIEVED IN US

Hamilson: AND YOU DIDN'T?

burr.sir: No Comment.

KING: awwww this is marvelous!!!

eatmybaguette: thank you!!

angel: all of this love confuses me

leelee: you and me both sister

angel: high five

leelee: high five

Hamilson: ange is getting along with lee ok ew im out

Hamilson: im going to go to bed for once

freckledJesus: we'll come too it's been a long day

sinnamonbun: i hate you all


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gay Distress™ and babies

landofthefree: help me im dying

peg-leg: thomas it's four am

landofthefree: i knOW BUT I WENT INTO ALEX'S ROOM TO GET A PONYTAIL SO I COULD SEE WHILE IM COOKING AND EVERYONES CUDDLING AND MY HEART IS BEATING WAY TOO FAST

peg-leg: i don't want to deal with your Gay Distress™

landofthefree: r u d e

landofthefree: what about ur Gay Distress™ huh

peg-leg: first of all fuck u he's a boy

peg-leg: second of all he's gay it'll never happen

landofthefree: i believe the term is 'homoflexible'

peg-leg: you come into MY HOUSE

peg-leg: PISS IN MY FOOD

peg-leg: AND SET MY CHILD ON FIRE

landofthefree: and we gonna let it burn (burn burn)

landofthefree: this girl is on fiiiiree

landofthefree: i set fire to the raiiiinnn

peg-leg: i came here to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now

burr.sir: what the fuck is going on

landofthefree: hOLY sHIT BuRR IS tYpinG IN lOWerCase?!?!?! AND. S w EA Rinng?!

burr.sir: fuck you i haven't slept yet

peg-leg: y tho

burr.sir: theodosia is sick rn so i gotta take care of theodosia jr.

landofthefree: lame

burr.sir: you're fucking lame my daughter is beautiful and amazing everyone should be BLESSED over the fact she exists

Hamilson: what's this

Hamilson: BURR 

Hamilson: HAVING AN OPINION?

landofthefree: everyone should be blessed that i exist

peg-leg: id sell you to satan for one corn chip

landofthefree: D:

Hamilson: hey araon

burr.sir: you spelt my name wrong

Hamilson: shut it

Hamilson: we could take care of theodosia jr. some time if you want??

burr.sir: wait

burr.sir: are you sErious

Hamilson: i mean we have five people literally nothing could go wrong

burr.sir: THANK YOU

burr.sir: I LITERALLY HAVE NOT SLEPT IN THREE DAYS AND THEODOSIA IS SICK IM REALLY STRESSED

burr.sir: THANK YOU

Hamilson: jesus calm down

landofthefree: jesus take the wheeeeel

peg-leg: why am i friends with you

landofthefree: because we both like looking at guys and girls asses together?

peg-leg: HOO

peg-leg: bitch u guessed it

peg-leg: u's right

Hamilson: peggy i stg

Hamilson: when do u want us to take her aaron?

burr.sir: Possibly later today?

burr.sir: I got to talk with Theodosia first.

Hamilson: hella 

Hamilson: drop her off whenever

\---

freckledJesus added HERCSMASH, eatmybaguette, Hamilson and landofthefree to the group chat

freckledJesus: wait were taking care of a kid today?!

Hamilson: yeah y

freckledJesus: HERC AND LAF HAVE WORK TODAY 

freckledJesus: THEY ARE THE KID PEOPLE NOT ME AND U

eatmybaguette: you'll be fine, mon ange!

eatmybaguette: kids are easy to take care of!

freckledJesus: RNDNSMKSRUEND

HERCSMASH: you have two brothers and two sister's john how ????

HERCSMASH: they're all younger than you????

Hamilson: you took care of them all the time??

freckledJesus: I ALMOST SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE TRYING TO MAKE RAMEN

eatmybaguette: oh boy

landofthefree: this is what i miss while im making breakfast

landofthefree: john calm down, im here too

landofthefree: im the oldest out of nine siblings, i think we'll be fine

HERCSMASH: hoLY SHIT NINE???

Hamilson: how did u survive

landofthefree: what do u mean im dead inside

Hamilson: aARONS AT THE DOOR BRB

freckledJesus: lord just kill me now


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this wasn't supposed to get sad  
> again sorry it turns into Only Talking™

freckledJesus: help me

LadyMaria: what's up johnny boy

freckledJesus: don't ever call me that again

freckledJesus: anyways i got really scared with theodosia so we went to ange's to calm me down

freckledJesus: since she loves to take care of kids y'know?

freckledJesus: she got theo to fall asleep in ten minutes and boy

freckledJesus: once that girl is out she never wakes up 

freckledJesus: three hours later we've watched the heathers movie and musical twice 

freckledJesus: angelica and alex and thomas are singing candyshop

LadyMaria: WITHOUT ME? I AM WOUNDED

LadyMaria: SEND VIDS

freckledJesus sent a video.

LadyMaria: is ange heather c

freckledJesus: help me

sinnamonbun: guys me and peggy are standing outside the door with some bking

peg-leg: we heard you guys all the way down the hall

peg-leg: im gonna burst in an sing the rest of angelica's part

sinnamonbun sent a video.

leelee: what the fuck is heathers

KING: HONEY WHAT YOU WAITING FOR

KING: JUST STEP INTO MY CANDY STORE

slushpuppies muted KING.

peg-leg: ange told me to shut up :(

eatmybaguette: oooh people are on

angel: IM POSTING THAT ON YOUTUBE

Hamilson: im going to be famous

landofthefree: lies

landofthefree: if anyone will be famous it'll be me

Hamilson: shuUt up heAther !11!!!1

landofthefree: !!!! IM FEELING SO ATTACKED

Hamilson: FIGHT ME

freckledJesus: alex and thomas are wrestling on ange's floor while candy shop plays in the background and everyone is fucking hooting

HERCSMASH: this is fun i love everyone so much

eatmybaguette: <33

HERCSMASH: <333

freckledJesus: im going to go sit with the baby g oo db ye

\---

John shoved his phone into his pocket, hopping off of the arm rest of the couch. Moving past everyone, he walked into the hallway, glancing behind him.

No one had noticed he left. Sighing in relief, he moved into Angelica's room, where Theodosia Jr. lay on the bed. Moving closer, though, he realized Theo was awake, playing quietly with a toy duck.

Pulling up a chair, John sat beside the bed, leaning closer to Theodosia Jr. who finally looked up at him. "What are you doing?" He asked playfully.

Theo made a happy noise and went back to her duck, slamming it onto the bed a couple of times. Rolling his eyes, John sat up and leaned back in his chair, nearly falling backwards when the door opened.

John partially hoped it was Alex when he turned around, but his face fell when he saw it was Thomas. Looking back at Theo, Thomas pulled a chair up next to him and sat beside him.

"John, what are you doing in here?" He asked, leaning against the bed. He reached forward and rubbed Theodosia Jr.'s back, waiting for John to answer.

Taking a deep breath, he shifted, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "It's too loud in there." He whispered. That really was the only reason why he went into Theo's makeshift room - it was unbelievably loud.

Thomas nodded. "Everyone calmed down after you left, we were gonna watch a Disney movie." Thomas whispered back, gaining John's interest. "Tangled - isn't that your favorite movie?"

John's eyes widened and he quickly looked away. "How did you know that?"

"Alex told me."

"Alex says a lot of things."

Thomas' hand touched John's shoulder, making him jump and flinch away. Pulling his hand away as if he had just for burnt, Thomas looked down into his lap.

"You're not really comfortable with me, are you?" He whispered, rubbing his hands together in his lap. John watched him, a quiet sigh escaping his lips.

Leaning forward, he stuck out his finger, letting Theo play with it. "No, I'm not. But it's not your fault, I've just.. been betrayed a lot in my life."

John felt Thomas' curious eyes bore into the back of his head, so he continued.

"Ever since I was young, I've been treated badly. Boys wouldn't be my friend because I liked barbies and dress up, and girls thought I was weird because I liked the things they liked. The only friends I had were my two sisters, the ones who would stay by my side no matter what.

"My dad found out about my liking for girl things and he took away all of my girl toys and gave me boy toys. He forced me into football when I wanted to join a cooking class at school. He would hit me whenever I complimented a boy on tv.

"By the time I was thirteen, I knew my dad was homophobic and I knew was gay. I still had no friends, my dad was becoming more abusive and more of a drinker, and my sister's were too scared to talk to me. My dad wanted to isolate me, neglect me until I either 'fixed myself', ran away, or keeled over and died. I thought I was always going to be alone, and then I met Lafayette and Hercules.

"Lafayette told me the moment I met them that they had no gender and what their pronouns were. Herucles told me he was bisexual and he was extremely proud of that. I respected them, but even so, it took me over a month before I could even comfortably call them my friend.

"We grew up together, and with their support, I could live through my fathers beatings. When I turned fifteen, I told my dad I was gay and he nearly killed me. Pushed me down the stairs and left me for dead - if it wasn't for my sister, Mary, I wouldn't be here today.

"When she called the cops and took me to the hospital, my dad was no where to be found. He refused to pay the bill and because of this they deemed my father unfit to parent me and my sister's. We were sent from foster home to foster home, each one growing worse and worse, until we were completely split apart.

"When I turned seventeen, I ran away. I showed up at Hercules door and he took me in and kept me safe. Lafayette lived with him. I had bruises all over my body, I was feeling broken on the inside and I felt unsafe no matter where I was. It took me three months before I could trust Hercules and Lafayette again.

"Roughly a week before I turned nineteen, I bumped into Alex on the street and immediately fell in love with him. Somehow, he ended up meeting all of my friends and he quickly became apart of our life. Alex.. Alex, somehow I trusted him right off the bat. He was the first person I ever trusted so easily, and for a while I thought I had gotten over my trust issues."

John glanced at Thomas, who was staring at the bed. "I guess not."

Thomas continued to stare at the bed, a blank look on his face. For a moment, John was scared that he was going to get up and leave and never come back, or even worse, make fun of him.

But instead, he took a deep breath and sighed. "John," He whispered, never taking his eyes off the bed. "Can I hold your hand?"

A little surprised with the question, John gulped down the lump forming in his throat. Pulling his finger away from Theo, John thought. No one ever asked him for permission in his entire life - he felt a little emotional. 

Slowly, he reached over and wrapped his finger around Thomas', pulling his hand into his. John reveled in the warmth of Thomas' hand, feeling it radiate up his arm and into his chest.

Maybe he could get used to this.


	28. Chapter 28

HERCSMASH: john and laf are having a crisis

peg-leg: it's two in the fucking morning

sinnamonbun: what did they do this time

HERCSMASH: more of a 'what-did-alex-do-to-them' type of thing

sinnamonbun: what did alex do to them

freckledJesus: ITS IMPOSSIBLE

freckledJesus: HE'S IMPOSSIBLE

eatmybaguette: alex wants his hair up in buns like miley cyrus

eatmybaguette: but we can't we jsut caN'T IT IS A RATS NEST

slushpuppies: did someone say hair and miley cyrus

Hamilson: IT'S NOT THAT BAD

freckledJesus: ALEX WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU BRUSHED YOUR HAIR

Hamilson: uh

Hamilson: what month is it

freckledJesus: HFJAKFNSKFNSK

eatmybaguette: we've been brushing for tWO HOURS

eatmybaguette: s'il y a un dieu là-bas s'il vous pLAÎT NOUS AIDER À ---

sinnamonbun: has thomas tried to do smth?

landofthefree: im not there darlin'

landofthefree: im still at work

landofthefree: but let me tell you im face timing alex and john is screaming

slushpuppies: you are all amateurs

Hamilson: who r u again

slushpuppies: r00d

slushpuppies: alex give me your dorm number

Hamilson: ????

freckledJesus: ?

slushpuppies: you know how k. george's hair is always perfectly done?

HERCSMASH: yeah

peg-leg: i envy the king's silver locks

peg-leg: *insert longing eyes emoji*

slushpuppies: i live with him i do his hair eveRY DAY

slushpuppies: IF ANYONE CAN FIX ALEX'S HAIR

slushpuppies: IT'S ME

freckledJesus: 229 !! ! !!!!! !! !!!!

HERCSMASH: 229

eatmybaguette: 229 ! 229 ! 229

Hamilson: GUYS MY HAIR IS NOT THAT BAD STOP

leelee: im writing this down for later

Hamilson: ARRHSJBFJEJRH

\---

slushpuppies: the deed has been done

peg-leg: i stayed up for this bitch send a pic

eatmybaguette sent hamilhoe.png

sinnamonbun: YOU ! LOOK ! LIKE ! A ! CHILD !

sinnamonbun: IM C R YING

peg-leg: she really is tho

Hamilson: i regret this tremendously

slushpuppies: bitch i spent forty minutes on you 

slushpuppies: you're not taking those out

eatmybaguette: so seabury

eatmybaguette: you think you can do anything when it comes to hair?

slushpuppies: duh

eatmybaguette: straighten john's hair

HERCSMASH: oh no

freckledJesus: whAt

slushpuppies: on it

\---

peg-leg: guys it's been two hours

peg-leg: eliza fell asleep where are you

KING: i've awoken but my friend is nowhere to be seen -

KING: do any of you happen to have an idea where Samuel may be?

peg-leg: yo kingster

peg-leg: read up

KING: oh no

\---

slushpuppies: I DID IT

Hamilson: for about two minutes

HERCSMASH: hey it's the longest someone's gotten john's hair to stay straight

peg-leg: did you get a pic??

slushpuppies sent HAHAHAHAHAHH.png

peg-leg: nice

peg-leg: but was it worth it?

peg-leg: it's seven in the morning

landofthefree: alex, john and herc were up all night

landofthefree: laf and i slept in the bed together

sinnamonbun: ALEX, SAM, PEGGY, YOU HAVE CLASSES IN AN HOUR

Hamilson: it's not my first time doing that

HERCSMASH: it's my first time

slushpuppies: same

sinnamonbun: im not spoon feeding mr jay lies if you guys fall asleep in class

Hamilson: betsy i thought we were friends

sinnamonbun: i did it once im not doing it again

Hamilson: r00d

sinnamonbun: see you in class fuckers

peg-leg: wake me up inside (can't wake up)

peg-leg: save meeee.e......e...

\---

HERCSMASH added eatmybaguette, Hamilson and freckledJesus to a group chat.

HERCSMASH: so as soon as we came home alex instantly fell asleep on our bed

HERCSMASH: and tommy came over a little after that

freckledJesus: when did you start calling him tommy

HERCSMASH: ANYWAYS

HERCSMASH: we both went to go get alex and wake him up,,,

HERCSMASH: bcuz thomas,,

HERCSMASH: and thomas was like "i wanna lay with him" and walked over to the bed but he froze the moment his hand touched the bed and then he backed away

HERCSMASH: and then he APOLOGIZED

eatmybaguette: what

HERCSMASH: I WAS SO CONFUSED I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY

HERCSMASH: AND THEN HE JUS WALKED OUT

eatmybaguette: come to think of it, mon beau corbeau had never slept in our bed with us

HERCSMASH: actually he doesn't do much with us these days???

eatmybaguette: he covered his mouth when i tried to kiss him the other day :(

freckledJesus: i'm sorry

eatmybaguette: ???,???,,,?????

freckledJesus: i told him i wasn't comfortable with him in the relationship and he's been keeping his distance from me

freckledJesus: i didn't know he was keeping his distance from ALL of us

eatmybaguette: oh dear

HERCSMASH: does he think we all feel that way????

freckledJesus: i do,,n,t kn,o,w,,,

HERCSMASH: how about we talk to him in the tomorrow?

freckledJesus: i

freckledJesus: okay

eatmybaguette: we can take him out for dinner!

eatmybaguette: it could be our first date with him!

HERCSMASH: DEAL

eatmybaguette: is that okay, john??

freckledJesus: yes

eatmybaguette: FIRST DATE IT IS

\---

Hamilson: what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poor alex
> 
> date night will be coming real soon!!


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS REALLY QUICKLY WRITTEN AND BAD DON'T READ IT EW
> 
> I GOT SO LAZY AT THE END KMS

HERCSMASH added landofthefree to a group chat.

HERCSMASH: meet us at the dorm at 12pm, bring 20 dollars, and wear your winter gear

landofthefree: ????!??!???

HERCSMASH: do it or i'll eat all of your macaroni

landofthefree: !!!!!!!!!!!!!

\---

Maybe Hercules was joking around, but he wasn't going to take his chances.

Thomas - at 12 PM exactly - walked across the street, wearing a long purple coat that reached past his knees, black gloves and a purple hat. He shivered against the cold, checking the temperature on the weather app on his phone. It was only 23 degrees. What on earth did Hercules want him for, and why did he need his winter gear and twenty dollars? He paused in front of the dorm gate and with a sigh, he reached for the handle to pull it open - but someone beat him to it.

He was a little surprised to see everyone - Alex, Lafayette, John and Hercules - standing in front of him in their own winter gear with grins on their faces.

"Tommy, right on time! Turn around, we're leaving!" Hercules boomed from behind the group, suddenly pushing them all forward. 

Thomas was a little overwhelmed with all the pushing, but he obediently turned and let Hercules push him towards his car. It wasn't until they were inside the car that Thomas finally had a chance to talk.

"What's going on?"

Hercules turned from the wheel and looked at the confused man, a huge grin on his face. "We're all going on a date."

\---

After ten minutes of driving, the car pulled into a parking lot of a large place that Thomas didn't recognize. His confusion must have shown, because Alex placed his hand on his shoulder and explained.

"We all decided to take turns planning on what we we're going to do for this date. I chose to go first." Alex hummed. Thomas looked at him with wide eyes, opening his mouth to ask why he didn't get to plan anything, but Alex quickly hushed him.

Lafayette suddenly grabbed a hold of his arm, hugging it tightly against their chest. "You don't get to plan anything, mon beau corbeau, this is all for you!"

Opening and closing his mouth, the tall man squeaked. "For me?" 

John finally turned and looked back at him from the front, a small smile on his face. "For you." He whispered, making Thomas blush bright red.

"Now -" Alex yelled suddenly, turning everyone's attention to him. "Let's go ice skate!"

\---

"You rented out the entire rink for an hour?!" Thomas asked, sounding shocked as he pulled his laces tighter. Alexander just laughed at that, turning to look at Lafayette as they made their way into the ice box next to the rink to look for a radio that would play music for them to dance to.

Hercules on the other hand, walked over with his skates on and sat next to him, wrapping his arm around Thomas' waist. A blush appeared on the tall man's face, but he leaned against the buff man anyways.

"We would buy this entire rink if it made you happy." Herc whispered, and Alex made a vomiting noise from next to them.

They all laughed - including John - before the sound of Christmas music suddenly blasted through the entire stadium. Loud French swearing could be heard from the ice box as Laf turned the music down.

Watching as the French man made his way out of the box, Thomas removed himself from Hercules and slide right into the ice rink with ease.

After a while the tall man realized the only people who knew how to skate were Lafayette and himself.

Thomas found that out the moment he slid onto the ice, turning in time to see Alex scream and fall on his ass the moment he stepped into the rink. 

Hercules was the next person to come in - He was a lot better than Alex, somehow staying up, but he could barely move forward without stumbling around and falling flat in his face.

John on the other hand grabbed onto the wall and quietly skated around on the edge of the rink, only slipping when he let go of the probably freezing cold wall.

When Lafayette came in, Thomas almost expected them to fall on their ass too, but as they slid right in and spun around Alexander's body on the ice, the tall man was a bit impressed. Sliding over to Alex, Thomas snorted. 

"Do you need help?"

"Fuck off Thomas, I got this --"

Thomas shrugged, spinning around and making his way back to the middle of the ice rink. He skated around idly, watching as Alexander fell countlessly, Lafayette helped Hercules, and John recorded everything that was happening.

His breath seemed to catch in his throat when the first notes of his favorite song echoed throughout the ice rink.

I really can't stay..  
(Baby it's cold outside)..  
I've gotta go away..  
(Baby it's cold outside)..

Before Thomas could even react, someone took ahold of his hand and pulled him around the rink in a large circle. Looking up, his face brightened at the sight of Lafayette, and he quickly grabbed their other hand.

Lafayette took the advantage of having both of his hands in theirs by pulling him forward until he was pressed up against their chest. Wrapping their arm around his waist, Lafayette grinned at the Thomas' flushed face.

"I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice.." Lafayette sang quietly, gingerly spinning them. It took Thomas a moment to realize that they were trying to slow dance with him - on the ice.

Laughing softly, Thomas placed his forehead against Lafayette's. "My mother will start to worry.."

"Beautiful, what's you're hurry?"

"My father will be pacing the floor.."

"Listen to that fireplace roar!" Lafayette sang, attempting to dip Thomas - only to get dragged down to the floor the moment Thomas' foot slipped. Laying on top of each other on the floor, the two of them looked at each other for a moment, before they both burst into laughter.

"Hey!" Alex yelled suddenly, making them both look over. "Dance with me too!"

Thomas snorted.

\---

The tall man raised an eyebrow as they pulled into the parking lot of a Wal-Mart, looking over at Lafayette - who said it was their turn to unravel their plan - with doubt on his face.

Noticing Thomas' doubtful look, they quickly raised their hands in defeat. "Calm down, mon beau corbeau. I have something fun planned!" Lafayette cries out as Hercules parked the car.

They all tumbled out of the freezing car and into the ever more freezing air, quickly bolting across the street and making their way inside of the store. 

Once the warm are hit all of them, they all laughed breathlessly, before turning to Lafayette for an explanation.

A small smile appeared on the French man's face as he took off his hat and pulled out a bunch of papers, placing them inside of it. Mixing it up quickly, he held out the hat. "Pick one."

Four hands each dug into the hat, taking out a piece of paper until their was only one left. Lafayette slipped the last paper into his hand, and then pulled out his twenty dollars. Everyone else followed in suit. "Twenty dollars. Twenty minutes. Find a present for the person on the paper - the first one back at the spot gets whatever money we have left at the end of it."

Their's eyes widened and they all shared a distraught look, but before anything could happen, Lafayette screamed "GO!" and pushed past them.

Alex watched the French man for a moment, then looked at his boyfriends and grinned.

"You heard him! GO!"

Everyone split.

\---

Finding a gift was a lot harder than he expected. 

Looking down at the small paper in his hands, he read "Lafayette" in the French man's scribbly hand writing. He assumed that maybe he should get him something related to France, but that might seem a little cliche.

Something clicked in his mind as he paused in front of a long white skirt with a brown belt around it. He remembered Hercules say something about Lafayette wanting a skirt.

Quickly tearing the skirt off of the rack, he turned around, only to come face to face with Alexander. They both stared at each other.

"Who do you have?"

"I refuse to answer that."

Thomas narrowed his eyes, handing his paper to his boyfriend. Watching Alexander take it, he read it quickly, then sighed in relief. "Alright, fine, I have Hercules."

The short man looked around him, then gasped suddenly, rushing forward - but he was stopped when Thomas grabbed onto his hand. Alexander looked up at the tall man, who was blushing, and snickered. He turned and faced Thomas, stood up on his tiptoes and then kissed him gently. When he backed away, a fire suddenly blazed in his eyes, and Thomas was suddenly being dragged away.

"Come on, Tommy, lets beat our boyfriends into the ground!"

\---

Hand in hand, the two made their way back to the meeting point, a bag in their free hands. They we're a little excited when they saw that no one was there yet, sharing a look, but he felt a sense of panick when Thomas saw the color drain from Alex's face.

Quickly turning, he made eye contact with John from across the room for a moment, and then he was bolting after the freckled man who was making a mad dash in an attempt to reach the checkpoint before him.

Thomas was so close to winning - his heart was racing and he was holding back laughter. Screaming, he fell to his knees and slid forward, but was met with the sight of John's winter boots.

Looking up as he slid to a stop, he was John grinning victoriously down at him. Letting out a groan, he rolled over and laid on his back, letting his eyes slip close as he took deep breaths in an attempt to feel his lungs again.

Feeling someone gently poke his side with his boot, he opened his eyes to find Alex holding out his hand. "I have never seen you run so fast before -" Alex exclaimed as he helped him up, basically jumping up and down with energy. "That was hilarious!"

"Indeed it was," Lafayette's voice made them all turn and look, noticing that Hercules was with them too. They both held up their bags and grinned.

After a little bit, they all handed their gifts to the person they chose. 

Alexander gave Hercules a giant Ariel plushy and a pack of thimbles because Hercules always complained of stabbing his fingers while sewing. 

Hercules gave Alex a new leather writing book and a giant poop emoji pillow because Alex secretly loved that emoji and everyone knew it.

Lafayette gave John cotton candy shampoo and a tank top that said "1800-did-i-ask-for-your-opinion" because honestly he always acts like that.

Thomas, shakily if I may add, gave Lafayette the white skirt he bought him and an over the shoulder bag with a faded Eiffel Tower on it.

The last person to go was John, and as everyone stared at him, he blushed and looked down at the floor. "I'll give it to him later, okay.. I don't have it yet."

The tall man felt a little discouraged when he didn't get a present, but when Lafayette wiggled their eyebrows at him, he blushed and turned around.

"Next thing!"

\---

Thomas shivered as they walked through the park, pulling his coat further around him. "Why are we here?"

Hercules made a clicking noise with his tongue and suddenly wrapped his arm around Thomas' shoulders, pulling him closer. "It's my turn - and unlike the others, my plan involves the actual snow!"

Sighing, Thomas rolled his eyes and nuzzled closer to Hercules. They walked a little farther, forcing their way up a large hill that Hercules was leading them up - until they spotted a bunch of sleds.

Alex suddenly bolted forward, throwing his hands up into the air, and with a loud shout he took the red sled off of the top and raised it above him. "Mine! Mine, I called it!"

John suddenly bolted up there, Lafayette quickly following him. Thomas and Hercules shared a look, both grinning at each other before bolting after their boyfriends. John grabbed the green sled, Lafayette grabbed the blue one, and Hercules grabbed the yellow one - leaving the pink one for Thomas.

Hercules snickered at the scowl on Thomas' face, covering his mouth to stop the laughter from spilling out. "I thought - I thought Lafayette would take it!"

Flipping him off, the tall man cracked a smile. Both Hercules and Thomas turned at the sound of laughter, watching as Alex and Lafayette slid down the hill before the rest of them.

"Hey! Wait up, you nerds!" Hercules shouted, his Irish accent slipping out as he raced after them, sliding down the hill with the sled on his feet like it was a snowboard.

Thomas quickly set his sled down and sat on it, looking up just in time to see John fly past him. Panicking, Thomas shoved his hand into the snow and pushed himself forward as hard as he could. 

He was a little surprised with how quickly he shot forward, but his surprise quickly turned into excitement as he maneuvered his way down the hill. Nearing the bottom, he leaned forward to go faster just as John appeared out of nowhere in front of him. 

There was a loud crash and a skew of swear words, and suddenly both of them were at the bottom of the hill, laying side by side, covered in snow. Thomas looked at John, grinning when he saw that the freckled man was already staring at him.

They started giggling, their voices growing louder until their giggles turned into full blown laughter.

Suddenly they were being pulled up off of the ground, and Hercules looked at them with a grin on his face the size of Saturn.

"Who wants to go again?"

\---

Somehow, after an hour of rolling around in the snow, they made three snowmen, rode the sleds about sixty times and had a snowball fight.

Now, though, they were inside of the car, which was being driven up a mountain that could almost be mistaken for a large hill.

"Hercules, where are you taking us? We've been in the car for almost an hour - are we even in town?" Thomas cried, staring out the window. He looked at Hercules, rubbing his hands together.

A small chuckled escaped the buff man's throat. "Calm down Thomas, we'll be there soon."

Shaking his head, the tall man looked back out the window. The sky was turning blue and orange as the Sun nearly completely set, leaving a view to remember in it's wake. Taking a deep breath, he let his eyes slip close, but he was jolted back to life when the car stopped suddenly. 

"Hercules, quit stopping the car ---" His breath caught in his throat when John suddenly opened his car door and pulled him out without hesitating. Stumbling a little bit, he was dragged over to a bunch of trees.

The tall man looked at his and John's intertwined hands, blushing. "John, what --" He looked up, freezing in his spot.

There they stood, in a small clearing on the edge of the mountain with the perfect view of the sky. The sky had turned black in the short time him he looked away, stars popping up in the sky before him.

Suddenly there were hands all over him - Lafayette hugged him from behind, Alexander squeezed himself underneath Thomas' arm and Hercules took his free hand.

"We did this for you, Thomas." Alexander whispered. Thomas gasped.

"We love you," Hercules continued.

"We want you to know that," Lafayette quipped in. Thomas could feel the tears rolling down his face.

"Forever and always." John hummed.

Turning to look at John, Thomas laughed breathlessly. He quickly looked down at the ground as all of his boyfriends watched the sky.

\---

After everyone calmed down and relaxed, Thomas had taken a seat at the very edge of the mountain, watching the sky with a small smile on his face. Hercules and Lafayette had retreated to the car, and Alex was probably climbing a tree or something.

Hearing a shuffling sound come from next to him, he turned and watched John sit down next to him. Silence fell over them, and Thomas slowly looked back at the sky.

"I can give you you're present now, Thomas." John whispered after some time, making Thomas turn towards him.

"Oh?" He hummed, tilting his head a bit in confusion. John looked hesitant, opening and closing his mouth, a blush on his face. He suddenly leaned forward and gently placed his lips against Thomas', but he pulled away before the tall man even had a chance to register what was going on.

John leaned forward and covered his face, his ears burning bright red. Thomas finally realized what happened, his entire face turning bright red.

John groaned loudly. "I feel like a teenager again, eugh!"

"I - you - what --" The tall man stumbled over his words.

Instead of looking up at Thomas, John dug his face into the tall man's chest and laughed out loud. "My God.. this is so stupid.."

Blinking, Thomas looked down at John and grinned. Slowly, he wrapped his arm around John and pulled him closer to him.

He loved all of them so much.


	30. Chapter 30

sinnamonbun: help me

angel: what

angel: what did alex do this time

Hamilson: WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ASSUME ITS ME

angel: was it you

Hamilson: yeah

sinnamonbun: alx tell her i cant bretahe

Hamilson: ALRIGHT ANGE

Hamilson: TAKE A SEAT

Hamilson: ITS STORY TIME

angel: im tempted to mute you

Hamilson: OKAY SO

Hamilson: I WORE THE BUNS THAT SAMMY DID FOR ME ALL THE WAY TO CLASS

Hamilson: EVERYONE WAS DIGGING IT AND COMPLIMENTING ME 

Hamilson: AND THEN LEE THAT LITTLE SHIT SAID I LOOKED LIKE I BELONGED ON THE COVER OF A GAY PLAYBOY MAGAZINE

Hamilson: SO I JUST KIND OF STARED AT HIM AND WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS

Hamilson: AND SINCE I KNOW MARIA WAS A PLAYBOY BUNNY LAST YEAR FOR HALLOWEEN I WENT TO THE GIRLS DORM AND BROKE INTO HER ROOM

Hamilson: well more like just unlocked the door with the key under her mat but whatever

Hamilson: I PUT ON THE COSTUME

Hamilson: WALKED BACK INTO THE CLASSROOM

Hamilson: AND I SAT ON AARON AND LEE'S TABLE FOR THE REST OF THE HOUR

landofthefree: im sorry what

Hamilson: oh shit

freckledJesus: aRE YOU STILL IN COSTUME

Hamilson: yeah????

freckledJesus: WHERE ARE YOU

Hamilson: im in the middle of the hallway ??? ¯\\(ツ)/¯

eatmybaguette sent what.png

eatmybaguette: i thought that maybe jsut maybe that wasn't alex

eatmybaguette: i was wrong

freckledJesus: ALEX COVER UP JESUS

Hamilson: don't worry lafayette gave me their coat

Hamilson: why is everyone freaking out??? this is really fun!

HERCSMASH: is this a weird fetish we didn't know about 

landofthefree: FOUDN H IM

eatmybaguette: thomas just hugged alex and he won't let him go 

eatmybaguette: im

eatmybaguette: thomas said the both of them are going back to our dorm room so alex can change

eatmybaguette: THOMAS IS SHOUTING AT ANYONE WHO GLANCES AT ALEX

eatmybaguette has sent a video.

sinnamonbun: JESU S LAF YOURE WHEEZING CALM DOWN

eatmybaguette: i a m dEc ea sed

freckledJesus: why am i dating you people


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> freedom

LadyMaria renamed the group chat to LISTEN UP BITCHES

landofthefree: it's six in the morning what the fuck

LadyMaria: WAKE EVERYONE UP

landofthefree: that's a death sentence

Hamilson: i'm awake

landofthefree: your always awake

Hamilson: true lmao

ange: i'm a w a k e

LadyMaria has started a call.  
Call ended 0:57 seconds.

eatmybaguette: it's SIX AM

eatmybaguette: DO YOU KNOW HOW LOUD IT IS WHEN.FOUR PHONES GO OFF IN ONE ROOM AT THR S A ME TIME

freckledJesus: your screams are what woke me up you asshole

eatmybaguette: ):

Hamilson: thank god hercules is still asleep

sinnamonbun: wait maria are you telling them

LadyMaria: hell yEAhH

peg-leg: im Scared™ for my life

LadyMaria: i need you all to stop typing and l i s t e n up for a bit my bitches

LadyMaria: so i finally got in contact with my husband/ex husband

eatmybaguette: !!!

LadyMaria: yeah yeah i know - spooky right??????

LadyMaria: so we meet up and start drinking and stuff and i ask him to sign this paper

LadyMaria: he signs it without knowing it's DIVORCE PAPERS so i'm FREE

LadyMaria: and guess what? he willingly gave me 20,000 DOLLARS

LadyMaria: I NEARLY PISSED MYSELF I WAS SO EXCITED

Hamilson: holy sHIT

LadyMaria: MARIA LEWIS IS BACK BITCHES

LadyMaria: and there's even B E T T E R news

LadyMaria: i decided to spend 1,089 dollars on

LadyMaria: SIXTEEN TICKETS TO. D I S N E Y. W O R L D.

LadyMaria: WE'RE GOING ON A FIELDTRIP MY CHILDREN

HERCSMASH: ARE YOU SERIOUS

freckledJesus: that was really fucking creepy the moment you mentioned disney herc rised from the dead

Hamilson: herc i love you omg

Hamilson: but DISNEY WORLD?? IVE NEVER BEEN THERE OMG

eatmybaguette: I AM SCREAMING

sinnamonbun: guys peggy is actually crying

sinnamonbun sent a video.

ange: i'm in shock 

ange: i

ange: im getting theodosia

LadyMaria: GET THEODOSIA YES

LadyMaria: WE'RE ALL GOING

LadyMaria: I EVEN GOT ONE FOR HER KID

LadyMaria: JAMES, THE KING, SAMMY AND LEE CAN COME TOO

slushpuppies: ill tell the others!!! :D :)

LadyMaria: IVE TALKED TO GEORGE AND WE'VE ALL BEEN EXCUSED FROM CLASSES

LadyMaria: FIVE DAYS OF FUN

LadyMaria: GET READY KIDS WE'RE LEAVING ON FRIDAY

landofthefree: I'M AWAKE

landofthefree: calling james brb

HERCSMASH: IXLVOE YOY MSRRY ME

LadyMaria: (;


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lit

LadyMaria: tuesday

peg-leg: i'm already packed

peg-leg: so hyped

\---

LadyMaria: wednesday

Hamilson: aaaaaAAAHHHHHHHHH

\---

LadyMaria: thursday

HERCSMASH: diSney !!!!

\---

LadyMaria: FRIDAY

HERCSMASH: WE HAVE OUT THINGS PACKED LETS GO GO GO

Hamilson: we're not dOne packing yet herc

landofthefree: i'm still helping james pack >:(

HERCSMASH: dIS N ey !!!!!!!!

LadyMaria: head on down when you're done guys i just got here!!

HERCSMASH: D I S N E Y !!!!!!!!!!

sinnamonbun: so far the only people who are packed are me, ange, eliza, theo/her kid/her bf and the royal squad

sinnamonbun: maria's car only had one seat left so the rest of you will have to get into the kings car

Hamilson: nOOOOO I DONT WANT TO BE IN A CAR WITH LEE AND THE KING

KING: i let everyone take turns playing their own music!!

Hamilson: nOOOOO I DONT WANT TO BE IN A CAR WITH LEE

sinnamonbun: calm down darling

sinnamonbun: precautions have been made and angelica theodosia has switched places with lee, he'll be in maria's car

sinnamonbun: it's going to be a long ride so i've put pillows in the back of the cars for when you all want to sleep - all you have to do is reach back there and take one

sinnamonbun: i've also packed drinks and snacks in both cars so you'll all be fed and hydrated

sinnamonbun: i want everyone nice and happy!

LadyMaria: i think i just experienced mommy!eliza and i'm really turned on???

landofthefree: ew

MADHATTER: We're coming down now.

Hamilson: sO ARE WE AHAHAHAHA

freckledJesus: alex is cackling like a maniac i

freckledJesus: he's running

freckledJesus: the bag on his back is swinging him back and forth

freckledJesus: HE LOOKS LIKE A HOBBIT

eatmybaguette: red white blue red white blue red white blue...

slushpuppies: /slams head against wall

slushpuppies: this is going to be a long 17 hours


	33. Chapter 33

HERCSMASH: ALRIGHT EVERYBODY! THE KRUSTY CRAB HAS ENTERED DAY THREE OF NON-STOP SERVICE!! GIVE IT HP FOR DAY THREE!

Hamilson: hercules mulligan it has been ONE HOUR

\---

slushpuppies: lafayette is blaring really bad french music

slushpuppies: george is really getting into it

leelee: if he starts bLARING THAT AT HOME I'LL STAB HIM IN THE EYE

\---

KING: now that's just rude, charles!! :,(

\---

HERCSMASH: DAY FIFTEEN, GIVE IT UP FOR DAY FIFTEEN

Hamilson: FOUR HOURS HERC

Hamilson: FOUR FUCKING HOURS

sinnamonbun: get along, boys!

peg-leg: the notification for that message scared the fuck out of me.and i accidentally punched aarons arm woops

Hamilson: theo asked if theo. jr is ok

peg-leg: she's good my dude 

freckledJesus: what's even worse is that he screams it every time he sends it

Hamilson: every time he does he wakes theo up and she looks about ready to mURder him

burr.sir: Why isn't Theodosia on here with us?

eatmybaguette: she forgot her password

burr.sir: Help her make a new one, please?

eatmybaguette: oui, mon ami!

\---

eatmybaguette has added babymomma to the group chat.

babymomma: i'm here!! <3

\---

peg-leg: how many layers of irony are you on right now

leelee: liKE FIVE OR SIX MY DUDE

ange: you are like a baby - watch this

MADHATTER: SUCC

ange: james holy shit

MADHATTER: I enjoy memes too, guys.

\---

Hamilson: there is dubstep blaring in this car and SOMEHOW thomas is still asleep

freckledJesus: what the fuck move over

freckledJesus: he'S WEARING EARPLUGS

freckledJesus: FUCKER

Hamilson: theodosia is scary when she's tired jesus

burr.sir: What did she do?

Hamilton: "STOP FUCKING WRESTLING AND STOP FUCKING BLARING FUCKING DUBSTEP BEFORE I OPEN ALL THE DOORS AND KICK YOU ALL OUT OF THIS FUCKING VAN AND RUN YOU OVER WITH IT"

Hamilson: thomas and john immediately said ''yes ma'am'' and sat back down.

burr.sir: That's my baby <3

Hamilson: ew

\---

HERCSMASH: DAY TWENTY THREE, GIVE IT UP FOR DAY TWENTY THREE

babymomma: I WILL SNAP YOUR NECK I STG

Hamilson: he's too tall 

Hamilson: you can't reach his neck

babymomma: you can't either

Hamilson: i'm taller than you

babymomma has muted Hamilson.

\---

sinnamonbun has ummuted Hamilson.

sinnamonbun: WHAT HAPPENED

sinnamonbun: YOU GUYS SWERVED AND NEARLY WENT OFF THE ROAD

KING: I fell asleep at the wheel, I'm so sorry!!!

leelee: are you okay?!

KING: yes charles, I'll be switching spots with thomas in a little bit

Hamilson: MY HEART HAS NOT STOPPED RACING

landofthefree: i can see the light

landofthefree: i'm going into it

landofthefree: cya bitchez

\---

HERCSMASH: DAY THIRTY, GIVE IT UP FOR DAY THIRTY

babymomma: i'm switching spots with someone in the other car

sinnamonbun: we have about seven hours left to go, so i'll switch spots with you until the next stop!

LadyMaria: sammy, tell the king im pulling into the gas station up here and everyone can get some food, relax, and switch spots

slushpuppies: okay!!

\---

sinnamonbun: everyone has everything they need, right? we can go, right?

landofthefree: everyone's for everything in here, yeah

LadyMaria: we're good over here!!

sinnamonbun: okay, i'm going to play some slow music and we're all going to take a nap!!

Hamilson: eUGH

peg-leg: Mommy Eliza™

freckledJesus: herc is already out cold jesus

sinnamonbun: just close your eyes and relax

sinnamonbun: please?

Hamilson: fine. i love you all.

sinnamonbun: we love you too

LadyMaria: we love you too


	34. Chapter 34

HERCSMASH: DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD DISNEY WORLD 

landofthefree: look honey i know your excited

landofthefree: but it's FOUR AM

landofthefree: IT'S NOT EVEN OPEN

HERCSMASH: disney.. world..? :(

landofthefree: not yet honey

freckledJesus: wHY IS HERCULES CRYING

\---

Hamilson: hercules' unconditional love for disney scares me sometimes

leelee: quit texting and help us take everything to the hotel

Hamilson: sUCK MY COCK YOU NUGGET GARGLING MEMEFUCKER

leelee has muted Hamilson.

\---

sinnamonbun has unmuted Hamilson.

sinnamonbun: okay everyone, are we all in our designated rooms?

KING: yes indeed!

peg-leg: we're good up here

landofthefree: yeah mom

landofthefree: fCUK I DIDNT MEAN TO SYA THAT

Hamilson: HAHAHA

freckledJesus: alex is screaming mom at thomas

freckledJesus: thomas has tackled alex

freckledJesus: they're wrestling

freckledJesus: lafayette and hercules just fell on top of them

freckledJesus: tHEY'RE TRTINH TO GRBA MFE78888IIIC..D___yue

peg-leg: rip john

peg-leg: he was the gayest meme of them all

\---

Hamilson has sent DICC.png

Hamilson: dicc

Hamilson: funny right

Hamilson: everyone is asleep

Hamilson: plays emo music

Hamilson: cries

Hamilson: i am so lonely and so saaaad

\---

Hamilson: six am and everyone is still asleep

Hamilson: i'm awake alexander

Hamilson: oh how nice of you to join me alexander #2

Hamilson: how was your day?

Hamilson: oh my day was long alexander #2

Hamilson: my day was long as well alexander #1

Hamilson: someone please wake up9

\---

LadyMaria: ALEXANDER

LadyMaria: WHAT yHE fU ck

Hamilson: i couldn't sleep ok

freckledJesus: BD DNSUDJABCHJhdhjsjsnHhHh

freckledJesus: SON OF A DICK HOLY MOTHER FUCKER

freckledJesus: FUCK ME IN THE GOD DAMN ASS

landofthefree: is that a request? ;)))

freckledJesus: shut it you HECKER

freckledJesus: HERCULES JUST FUXKING KICKED ME AND LAF OUT OF THE BED

eatmybaguette: my bottom hurts

Hamilson: what the fuck am i missing

Hamilson: never mind i dont want to know 

Hamilson: i can hear him screaming in the next room

ange: look i love all of you

ange: but when i can hear hercules screaming from four doors down

ange: the need to kill you grows by like

burr.sir: 100%

ange: 3%

ange: oh shit

Hamilson: who the fUCK is At ouR DOOR

eatmybaguette: IS THAT BURR

Hamilson: IM

burr.sir: ANGRY

Hamilson: PANICKING

Hamilson: oh

Hamilson: HE GOT RHE DOOR OPEN

Hamilson: IM SCARED

Hamilson: HDBAIjHjhebajs8e88whsbs

\---

LadyMaria: where is the king and his subjects

KING: we're here!

LadyMaria: ok

\---

sinnamonbun: okay, now that everyone has calmed down, lets go have some fun!! disney world, yay!!!

HERCSMASH: DISNEY WORLD


	35. Chapter 35

sinnamonbun: okay, now that we're inside of the park

LadyMaria: lets all

sinnamonbun: SPLIT

LadyMaria: SPLIT

peg-leg: i have never seen any of you move so fast in my entire life

ange: come on peggy i guess your stuck with me

peg-leg: finger guns

\---

freckledJesus: its been an hour and alex and hercules have only gone on space mountain

freckledJesus: seventeen times

eatmybaguette: can we chill with any of you guys

landofthefree: you can meet me and james at the gift shop

eatmybaguette: LOUD GASP

eatmybaguette: LETS ALL GET MATCHING MICKEY MOUSE EARS

eatmybaguette: except i'm minnie ok

MADHATTER: Oh dear..

\---

burr.sir: I have gone on this dumb "it's a small world" ride almost twenty times in a row.

burr.sir: I am about ready to kill someone.

babymomma: YOU GUYS DONT REALIZE HE MADE A KID CRY BY LOOKING AT THEM THATS HOW ANNOYED WE ARE

sinnamonbun: go somewhere else? 

babymomma: but theodosia likes the lights on the ride

sinnamonbun: aweee

sinnamonbun: wait aren't phones not allowed on that ride?

burr.sir: Shit.

\---

peg-leg: ANGE AND I FUCKED UP

peg-leg: WE WENT ON SPLASH MOUNTAIN

Hamilson: YOU GUYS ARE WEARING WHITE

ange: our bras are showing please help

eatmybagette: WE'RE COMING MON AMI

ange: thank you

\---

Hamilson: wearing a girls shirt is kind of fun

eatmybaguette: that shirt barely fits you

Hamilson: jUST BECAUSE ITS A LITTLE BIG DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO MAKE FUN OF ME

eatmybaguette: at least i look good in white

\---

LadyMaria added freckledJesus to a group chat.

freckledJesus: ???

LadyMaria: i have a surprise for eliza but i need your help

LadyMaria: could you gather everyone and bring them to the tower of terror??

LadyMaria: and make sure you have your camera ready

\---

Two girls stood in front of the tower of terror, wearing matching Minnie headbands, matching Disney shirts, both of them holding a balloon of their favorite color - one blue and one red.

Eliza rocked back and forth, lost in her thoughts as she held her girlfriends hand happily. Maria had a splendid idea - She suggested that they all ride the tower of terror together before it was taken down so they could get pictures.

Of course she loved the idea, but she was feeling a little worried for her girlfriend, who looked terrified beyond belief. She wanted to ask if everything was okay again, but every time she did, she would tell her everything was okay and then go back to looking like she had just seen a ghost.

So instead of asking, she decided to sit back and wait.

The first two people to show up were Thomas and Madison, and not even five minutes later, everyone else showed up as one big group.

"Hello!" Eliza greeted them all, but none of them moved towards her or greeted her back. They all looked a little confused, which was beginning to scare Eliza.

The moment she saw John pull out his phone and hold it up like he was recording, she turned to Maria. "What's going o--" Her voice caught in her throat at the sight of her girlfriend on one knee with a little blue box in her hand.

Maria opened the little box quickly, showing off a ring with a big purple diamond on it. She looked like she was going to have a heart attack.

Smiling, Maria shakily asked, "Elizabeth Schuyler, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

Slowly, Eliza covered her mouth with her hands, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Laughing softly, he sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes, only to have another set of tears replace them.

"Yes. Yes, of course." Eliza whispered, letting her now fiancé slip the ring onto her finger.

There was a collective amount of cheers and clapping, and suddenly they were both being engulfed by hugs and laughter. Once Eliza freed herself from everyone's hugs, she turned to her fiancé and kissed her in front of everyone.

Another cheer echoed through the air, and the moment she pulled away she was hoisted up onto someone's shoulder, the same thing happening to Maria.

Looking down, she was a little surprised to find out that it was Aaron who had lifted her up. Bending down, she kissed the top of his head and whispered a little "thank you", before turning to Maria.

Maria, on the other hand, was on Lafayette's shoulder and she was struggling to stay on because of how his ponytail was pushing her off. Finally, she looked up at Eliza and shared a look of pure love and admiration for one another.

"Let's go eat and drink until we drop!" Alexander suddenly shouted, earning another excited shout from the group. Suddenly, they were off, the girls still hoisted high on the men's shoulders.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone gets turnt

freckledJesus: so i woke up this morning with a major headache

freckledJesus: no memory of what happened last night

freckledJesus: thomas is laying at the foot of the bed with hercules' shirt on

freckledJesus: alex is half way on a chair and halfway on the floor

freckledJesus: hercules is laying next to me

freckledJesus: and laf is on top of hercules

ange: oh

freckledJesus: did i mention everyone has at least one article of clothing missing 

ange: i'M GONNA STOP YOU RIGHT THERE

freckledJesus: wHat HAPpENED LASt nighT?

ange: i don't know im fucking Hungover™

LadyMaria: the ne,,xt perso,,

LadyMaria: to,, m,ake my p;hone

LadyMaria: buzz

LadyMaria: will be,,,,, murdered,,,,,,,,,

freckledJesus: eEEK

\---

sinnamonbun: me and my FIANCÉ are awake

LadyMaria: eliZA WHY

LadyMaria: THIS IS EMBARRASSING

sinnamonbun: i'm sorry i just enjoy how BLUSHY you get over the word ,,,

LadyMaria: eliza,,, no,,,,,

sinnamonbun: FIANCÉ

LadyMaria: JFBAJFBSJXIJFKANA

HERCSMASH: you two are disgustingly cute

freckledJesus: but so are we

HERCSMASH: tru

sinnamonbun: WHO'S AWAKE

LadyMaria: me

HERCSMASH: me

freckledJesus: me

babymomma: me

ange: me and angelica are both awake but she's taking a shower - peggy

HERCSMASH: why u on her phone tho

ange: im digging through her phone - peggy

HERCSMASH: go ahead but that's ur funeral

KING: i'm awake and so are my beautiful boys <3

freckledJesus: i'm going to take alex's place for a moment and say

freckledJesus: ew

KING: ;(

HERCSMASH: so,,,,,

HERCSMASH: lets ,not avoid ,,,the obvious,,,,

HERCSMASH: what,,, Happened™

babymomma: OH BOY 

babymomma: MY TIME TO SHINE BABY

sinnamonbun: i never thought i would say this but

sinnamonbun: i'm scared of theodosia atm

babymomma: ok

babymomma: so the night started out like any good drinking night right

babymomma: btw since peggy is 17 she just went back to her room because she is a CHILD

ange: am not - peggy

babymomma: we took the four bottles of wine (one from each of our rooms) and we all met up in eliza and maria's room

babymomma: i decided to be a designated Mom™ and stayed sober

babymomma: the king was the designated Dad™ for the night

babymomma: everyone's chugging the alcohol down, i'm playing with theodosia and suddenly alex starts screaming because we ran out of liquor

babymomma: so the king and i reluctantly gathered everyone up and shoved them into the car

babymomma: we go to a liquor store and alex ran inside with lafayette and they both came out with two bottles of UV Blue, one bottle of Rum Chata, two smaller cases of regular bear, a bottle of soda and believe it or not

babymomma: bacon + pb and j vodka

freckledJesus: i'm sor,,ry,,,, come,, again?

babymomma: i know

KING: apparently, there was an option where you could mix flavors together and those two shouted the first two things that came to their minds

KING: so we got back in the car and headed back to the hotel

KING: immediately alex runs to the kitchen with all the alcohol and when the others tried to follow he locked to door to the kitchen

KING: so we we're all waiting and people were starting to grow sober

freckledJesus: i remember this part

freckledJesus: alex burst into the room and slammed the bottle of soda he bought and the pb and j + bacon vodka on the table in the room 

freckledJesus: at the time i didn't see what it said on it but now i know

freckledJesus: and alex screamed "LETS GET TURNT" and he chugged some of the pb and i + bacon bottle

freckledJesus: he then spit it out and said "this tastes like mud and wet dog" and then he chugged some more of it

freckledJesus: i opened the soda bottle with the deadly concoction Alex made and chugged some of it

freckledJesus: everything got blurry after that

babymomma: things spiraled out of control after that

babymomma: maria and eliza start talking about babies and new houses and his beautiful they are and then they start to profusely make out before maria ripped off her shirt

babymomma: hercules and lafayette had been making out and giggling in the corner of the room and i had to stop them from having sex four times

babymomma: alex and thomas are screaming at each other but they can't say the words "and," "it," or "fuck" or they have to take shots and by the end of it they're both stumbling around the room and knocking things over

KING: meanwhile, i'm dealing with the more calmer drinkers

KING: angelica and james are smashed, but they were calmly sitting side by side for twenty minutes just slurring about how much they love each other and how they were both too scared to tell each other

KING: john is on the floor, rolling around and mumbling about how hot it is

KING: somehow lee and seabury ended up in the kitchen

KING: so i go and check on them and they've made sandwhiches, but they're filled with marshmallows and anchovies and they're both eating them while dancing around the kitchen

KING: after i make sure they're safe, i walk back into the livingroom to find that angelica is on james shoulders and she's trying to rip the fake chandelier off the cieling

KING: john is on the floor still but he's missing his shirt and his shoes are on his feet

KING: burr is M.I.A

babymomma: mEANWHILE

babymomma: thomas somehow loses his pants and his shirts and im thinking that everything is going to go Wrong™

babymomma: but instead he just takes out one of hercules pj shirts, puts it on and he just flops on the bed and groans loudly

babymomma: maria and eliza have both lost their shirts and are under the bed talking about how beautiful boobs are

babymomma: alex is trying to crawl up the closet door

babymomma: hercules is just complaining about how he had to make a penis costume with shreks face as the head once for a six year old

babymomma: lafayette has somehow ended up in one of ange's nightgowns

babymomma: at this point im done with everyone and theo jr. has started crying from all the noise

babymomma: so i decide to take away everyone's alcohol

babymomma: alex suddenly screams like a fucking banshee and drops off of the door and onto the floor immediately

babymomma: and he starts screaming and CRYING just like theo jr.

babymomma: im literally about to murder him when john bursts into the room

KING: with his clothes back on

babymomma: they were on backwards

KING: it was good enough

babymomma: not Good Enough™ for me

KING: i want a Divorce™

babymomma: ANYWAYS

babymomma: john swoops in and lifts alex up flawlessly and he takes him to a chair and starts rocking him and shushing him

babymomma: and alex is OUT COLD in T W O SECONDS

freckledJesus: imM wHE EZIbg

babymomma: john somehow manages to put alex on the chair and he suddenly rips his shirt off and crawls onto the bed

babymomma: kickinf thomas in the process

babymomma: and then he was out cold too

babymomma: the noise has reduced so im ok but i turn around and lafayette's chest is now covered in lipstick because hercules is drawing on them

babymomma: theirs dicks on their chest

babymomma: i've just given up at this point

babymomma: so i grab both lafayette and hercules and force them into the bed

babymomma: i rip the girls out from under the bed and take them out into the living room

KING: meanwhile i've gotten ange and james to calm down and they're both back on the couch - lee and sammy are giggling and throwing plastic cups at each other

KING: and when theodosia came out everyone looked at her and lee suddenly screamed "HEY ITS MOMMY #1 AND #2" and he immediately ran over to eliza and maria and kissed their foreheads

KING: and being the Salty™ and Easily Jealous™ boyfriend i am i grabbed lee and sammy and i, without hesitation, escort them out of the room

babymomma: i grab angelica and james and take those four back to their rooms

babymomma: i went back to my room and passed out

KING: that's it

freckledJesus: I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF IM CRYING

HERCSMASH: alex is awake and thomas is awake

HERCSMASH: how long do you think it'll take them to see what happened

ange: i dunno

ange: this is still peggy

ange: ange is too busy freaking out about what happened last night 

HERCSMASH: JEBFJAJDHSJRBRK

HERCSMASH: WHAT THE FUCK

LadyMaria: i hEARD THAT FOUR ROOMS DOWN

freckledJesus: WHY DID ALEX SCREAM LIKE tHAT

KING: guys i just realized

sinnamonbun: wE NEVER FOUND BURR OH MY GOD

freckledJesus: BRB

\---

freckledJesus: he was passed out in the bathroom

babymomma: OH mY GOD

\---

Hamilson: I JUST FINISHED READING THIS

Hamilson: IM GOONG TO SCREMA AGAIN

HERCSMASH: please don't

Hamilson: I CANNOT B E L I E V E

landofthefree: i want to KILL MYSELF

sinnamonbun: don't say that :(

landofthefree: it feels like someone took my head and REPEATEDLY SMASHED IT ON A SHARP ROCK

sinnamonbun: never mind

slushpuppies: kill me too

leelee: I don't understand why everyone is complaining

slushpuppies: tHAT'S BECAUSE YOU DONT GET HANGOVERS YOU LITTLE EMO VAPING PIECE OF SHIT

leelee has muted slushpuppies.

peg-leg: angelica and james are being really awkward what do i do

babymomma: give them some time

babymomma: come help me get my husband to bed

peggy: see you in 5

eatmybaguette: there are still dicks on my chest

eatmybaguette: im crying

Hamilson: i can hear you

eatmybaguette: come comfort me mon petit lion

Hamilson: ok. ily

eatmybaguette: ily2

landofthefree: i'm going to cry and vomit at the same time

HERCSMASH: i'll rub your back love

freckledJesus: we might have to share the toilet tommy

landofthefree: k

sinnamonbun: i assume we're not going to do disney today

LadyMaria: HELL NO

LadyMaria: IM GOING TO BED

landofthefree: kill me


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow an UPDATE??? nope just a filler

Hamilson: woW

Hamilson: i was looking through old group chats since everyone is still hung over and i was  
bored

Hamilson: and my heart s o a r e d when i saw this

Hamilson: this group chat is so old

eatmybaguette: awww, this was the group chat between just the four of us!!!

HERCSMASH: wAIT

HERCSMASH added landofthefree to the group chat.

HERCSMASH: now we are complete

landofthefree: what is this

freckledJesus: our old Poly Squad group chat

landofthefree: oh shit

Hamilson: oh the memories are going to make me cry

eatmybaguette: this is where we talked about our feelings for each other!!! oh!! my!! god!!

eatmybaguette: i’m going to cry

landofthefree: i’m lost but wow i’m actually a little Flustered you guys invited me

freckledJesus: of course!

HERCSMASH: you’re apart of our family and we!! love!! you!!

landofthefree: i’m BLUSHING

Hamilson: come cuDDLE ME MY BOYS

HERCSMASH: COMING

\----

Hamilson: WHY WAS HERCULES SCREAMING

HERCSMASH: ME AND THOMAS WENT TO MAKE PANCAKES OK

HERCSMASH: AND HE DECIDED TO CHANGE OUT OF MY CLOTHES

HERCSMASH: which i’m a little bitter about because he looked!! so!! cute!!

landofthefree: !!!!! thank you

landofthefree: also hERC DON’T TELL THEM OMG

HERCSMASH: SO HE GRABBED SOME CLOTHES AND CAME BACK AND WHEN HE TOOK  
OFF MY SHIRT

HERCSMASH: I SAW A TATTOO ON HIS BACK

Hamilson: you are l y i n g

HERCSMASH: I AM NOT COME LOOK

eatmybaguette: but he is comforting moi

HERCSMASH sent WHATTHEFUCK.jpg

Hamilson: !!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO PRETTY??????

eatmybaguette: IT SAYS ‘LIFE AND DEATH’ IN FRENCH THAT’S SO POETIC

freckledJesus: WHEN DID YOU GET THAT

landofthefree: when i was in HIGHSCHOOL

landofthefree: OKAY I WAS LIKE REALLY FUCKING REBELLIOUS AGAINST MY PARENTS  
AND I WANTED TO HURT THEM

landofthefree: SO I DID THAT

Hamilson: !!!!!!

landofthefree: JAMES HAS A MATCHING ONE THAT SAYS ‘LOVE AND BIRTH’ IN FRENCH  
OK IT’S NOT VERY SURPRISING QUIT F U S S I N G OVER ME

Hamilson: !!! BEAUTIFUL BOY

HERCSMASH: okay thomas like ily and your tattoo but like help me flip these pancakes for our  
boys

landofthefree: on it baby <3

HERCSMASH: my heart is a s c e n d i n g

landofthefree: oh my GOD

\---

freckledJesus: ok but like

freckledJesus: breakfast in bed was amazing

eatmybaguette: yes!!! my boys are so amazing!!

freckledJesus: you are all so kind?? Wow??

HERCSMASH: i’m blushing stop

Hamilson: ok but like there’s a tv in here and it’s playing disney movies

Hamilson: come watch movies with us

HERCSMASH: WE ARE COMING

landofthefree: he’s drAGGING MEeEEEEeeeeeGDHSGJDFGJDFS

\---

freckledJesus: guys i found this website with like random questions

freckledJesus: pick a number so we can answer them for ourselves

Hamilson: THIRTEEN

freckledJesus: have you ever walked in on a friend having sex?

Hamilson: i walked in on eliza and maria having sex does that count

landofthefree: oh shit

HERCSMASH: alex i am sorry you had to see your sister naked

Hamilson: wake me up (wake me up inside) save mee e e.e.e .e.e. ...e.e .e……

freckledJesus: who’s next

eatmybaguette: cest moi

eatmybagutte: 9

freckledJesus: what is your favorite song?

HERCSMASH: l o u d g r o a n i n g

eatmybaguette: as much as i am a fan of american pop

eatmybaguette: my favorite song would have to be je veux by zaz

freckledJesus: why did i even ask that you play that damn song on rEPEAT EVERYDAY

landofthefree: I LOVE THAT SONG

eatmybaguette: !!!!

landofthefree: !!!!

Hamilson: what have i gotten myself into 

Hamilson: why am i dating these nerds

freckledJesus: NEXT

HERCSMASH: 20

freckledJesus: who was your first crush?

HERCSMASH: don’t be o f f e n d e d but it wasn’t you guys

Hamilson: 0: ???

HERCSMASH: i had a girlfriend named dolly for a little while

HERCSMASH: we broke up after a month and we just never really talked again?????

HERCSMASH: i wonder what she’s doing now??????

freckledJesus: huh

freckledJesus: well that was a quick answer

freckledJesus: bORING N E X T

landofthefree: 1

freckledJesus: do you have a dysfunctional family????

landofthefree: i

landofthefree: don’t want to play this game anymore

Hamilson: ????? are you okay ??

HERCSMASH: thomas where are yOU G O I N G

landofthefree: i just want

landofthefree: some fresh air

landofthefree: that’s a sensitive t o pi c

landofthefree: i’ll tell you guys some day but n o t t o d a y

landofthefree: will you guys come outside with me and hold my hands??

Hamilson: !! COMING

freckledJesus: i’m sorry tommy we’re here for you!!!!!!

HERCSMASH: we love you!!!

eatmybaguette: <333

landofthefree: i love you guys too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep an eye out for dolley later in the story ;)


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im late  
> very late  
> like an entire month late  
> i'll probably give you like three updates at the least   
> idk i need to catch up

HERCSMASH: !!!!!!!!!!! IM SAD

HERCSMASH: THAT WEEK WENT BY SO QUICKLY

LadyMaria: ^^^ tbh

HERCSMASH: LET'S BUY ANOTHER WEEK

sinnamonbun: !!!

Hamilson: listen

peg-leg: l i s t e n

eatmybaguette: mom amour we love you very much

angel: and you're our friend

leelee: not mine

freckledJesus: but like

landofthefree: no

HERCSMASH: why not??

KING: even i must agree with everyone, it was a bit exhausting ;((

HERCSMASH: exhausting???????

burr.sir: Each ride got repetitive after a while, honestly.

burr.sir: And after you've gone on all of them four times, it's very..

burr.sir: Boring.

Hamilson: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

HERCSMASH: you all SUCK >:(

\---

freckledJesus: herc baby come help us with the packing

HERCSMASH: i Refuse

freckledJesus: p l e a se 

freckledJesus: PLEASE

HERCSMASH: h n g 

HERCSMASH: f INE 

HERCSMASH: BUT ONLY BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

freckledJesus: i know <3

HERCSMASH: never mind you owe me burger king

freckledJesus: fCUK

\---

sinnamonbun: are we all packed up?? 

LadyMaria: y e s s!!

landofthefree: we're good over here!!!

sinnamonbun: oKAY OKAY LETS GO

\---

landofthefree: look

landofthefree: someone please

landofthefree: gET LEE OFF OF ME

sinnamonbun: ???

Hamilson: ?!?!?!

angel: charles fell asleep and now he's just kind of

angel: laying there

angel: on him

Hamilson: geT HIM OFF

Hamilson: HE IS INFECTING MY HUSBAND

KING: charles isn't doing anything wrong :(

leelee: it's not rape if we're both crying

KING: stop being kinky on him and start being kinky on me charles god

landofthefree: I WANNA SWITCH CARS

Hamilson: W H E E Z I N G

\---

peg-leg: THIS MAILBOX IS MINE

Hamilson: AND THIS TRIAGONAL SIGN

peg-leg: THIS BLUE BALLOON

Hamilson: THE MONTH OF JUNE

peg-leg: IT'S MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE

Hamilson: that's too many mines you wrinkly asshole

peg-leg: no it's not you nugget slut

eatmybaguette: guys it'S 2 AM

peg-leg: i t ' s t i m e

eatmybaguette: i'm scared

Hamilson: WE

peg-leg: ARE

Hamilson: NUMBER

peg-leg: ONE

eatmybaguette: oh my god

\---

Hamilson: hey epggy

peg-leg: you spel my name wrong

Hamilson: shut

Hamilson: u hecker

Hamilson: u wanna know what's fucnnier than 24

peg-leg: what

Hamilson: 25

freckledJesus: WHY DID I WAKE UP TO PEGGY WHEEZING

freckledJesus: WHY ARE YOU GUYS AWAKE

freckledJesus: IT'S 5 AM

peg-leg: john is trgigeered

peg-leg: trgiirsiifdsif

Hamilson: triggered

peg-leg: ty

freckledJesus: IM TAKING PEGGY'S PHONE AWAY

Hamilson: PLEASE NO ILL BE LONELY

freckledJesus: GO TO BED

\---

sinnamonbun: m o r n i n g !! <3

LadyMaria: who's up 

HERCSMASH: we're almost home!!!

burr.sir: Can I ask a question?

LadyMaria: what

burr.sir: Why is Alexander shaking?

babymomma: heY I FOUND MY PHONE

sinnamonbun: OH MY GOD ALEX WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU

Hamilson: slee.p is.. f.o..r the... w.ea.k......

LadyMaria: OH MY GOD HE'S OUT COLD

HERCSMASH: i'm going to have to carry him inside aren't i

eatmybaguette: ^^^^ yes

HERCSMASH: well fuck me in the ass and call me bobby joe

landofthefree: okay bobby joe

HERCSMASH: god damnit

\---

freckledJesus: IT FEELS

freckledJesus: SO GOOD

freckledJesus: TO BE IN MY OWN BED

HERCSMASH: at least you didn't have to carry a fucking sleepy cat up the stairs

HERCSMASH: that thing Scratches Hard

landofthefree: don't call alex a thing 

landofthefree: set him on the bed and lay with us !!

HERCSMASH: o k a y

HERCSMASH: john you still owe me bking btw <3<3

freckledJesus: FUCK

eatmybaguette: uh guys

freckledJesus: ?? ? ? ?///

eatmybaguette: i know your excited to sleep

eatmybaguette: but like

eatmybaguette: i checked my calendar on my phone and

HERCSMASH: oh no 

eatmybaguette: we have a party scheduled for the 24th

freckledJesus: ,,,,,,

landofthefree: ,, what is today ,,,??,?/

eatmybaguette: the 22nd

landofthefree: H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS


	39. Chapter 39

Hamilson: im scared

sinnamonbun: ?? why

Hamilson: betsy this is weird

Hamilson: i woke up and

Hamilson: my husbands are actually cleaning???

sinnamonbun: okay that's weird

Hamilson: they're so focused that they don't even know i'm watching them

sinnamonbun: why are they cleaning??

sinnamonbun: it's 6 am

sinnamonbun: were they up all night?!?!?!

Hamilson: i don't know???

Hamilson: wait there's messages in our private group chat

sinnamonbun: ??????????????

sinnamonbun: alexander???

sinnamonbun: lex???

Hamilson: OH MY GOD OUR CHRISTMAS PARTY

sinnamonbun: !!!! I REMEMBER THAT

sinnamonbun: I FORGOT

sinnamonbun: I NEED TO FINISH INVITATIONS

Hamilson: PANICKED SCREAM

\---

landofthefree: JESUS CHRIST I CAN'T BREATHE

angel: ???

Hamilson: I'M SORRY

landofthefree: I'VE LOST LIKE THIRTY YEARS OF MY LIFE

landofthefree: I'M DIEING

landofthefree: G O O D B Y E

angel: ?????

HERCSMASH: O H M Y GOD

freckledJesus: ALEX SCARED THE F U C K OUT OF THOMAS

babymomma: WHAT THE FCKU

babymomma: I HeRAD THAT THREE DOORS DOWN

eatmybaguette: mon amour screamed so loudly i think i may be bleeding out of my ears

Hamilson: ALL I DID WAS ASK WHAT WAS GOING ON

landofthefree: IT WAS SO QUIET

landofthefree: MY GOD IT SOUNDED LIKE ALEX WAS SCREAMING N MY EAR

slushpuppies: you are so over dramatic omg

burr.sir: We really need to move.

burr.sir: We live too close to screaming man children.

freckledJesus: ooooohh burr is throwing shade

landofthefree: my feelings are hurt

freckledJesus: liar

landofthefree: shush

Hamilson: BUT GUYS

Hamilson: WHAT IS GOING ON

eatmybaguette: we're cleaning for the party !

angel: ??

peg-leg: ???

babymomma: ????

burr.sir: ?????

freckledJesus: WE'RE THROWING A PARTY ON THE 24TH YOU'RE ALL INVITED

freckledJesus: BRING FRIENDS AND GIFTS AND UGLY SWEATERS

babymomma: !!!

Hamilson: guys wait

Hamilson: why don't we just have it at washington's house

landofthefree: ,,,

freckledJesus: why

freckledJesus: why didn't we think of that

Hamilson: brb

\---

Hamilson added daddyG to a group chat.

Hamilson: hey hey hey

daddyG: What, Alexander?

Hamilson: so me and my husbands wanted to have a party on the 24th

Hamilson: but we don't have enough time to clean our dorm room and we invited a lot more people than expected ( thanks john / glares )

Hamilson: so could we have it at your house

daddyG: You guys are idiots.

Hamilson: rude]]]

daddyG: You'll be cleaning any messes after the party on your own.

Hamilson: !!! THANKS DAD

daddyG: Dad??

daddyG: Wait, dad??

daddyG: Alex did you just call me dad??

daddyG: I have to tell Martha, oh my God.

\---

Hamilson: he said YES

freckledJesus: !!!!

Hamilson: i also called him dad by accident woops

landofthefree: daddy issues

Hamilson: liSTEN

Hamilson: L I S T E N

Hamilsom: DO NOT BRING THIS UP AGAIN

landofthefree: finger guns

eatmybaguette: OKAY

eatmybaguette: NOW THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO CLEAN

eatmybaguette: I'M GOING TO BED AND YOU'RE ALL COMING WITH ME

HERCSMASH: o k a y

Hamilson: !!!!!!!!!

landofthefree: ,,,,

freckledJesus: oki doki


	40. Chapter 40

eatmybaguette: OKAY WAKE UP MY BOYS

HERCSMASH: we are awake

HERCSMASH: we have been awake for ten minutes

eatmybaguette: hercules darling please shut up

HERSCSMASH: RUDE,,,

eatmybaguette: we need too go to gwash's and set things up,,

eatmybaguette: and go to the store,,,

eatmybaguette: and make sure everyone is coming,,,,

Hamilson: okay this is going to sound a little hypocritical coming from me but

Hamilson: laf calm down

HERCSMASH: A LITTLE HYPOCRITICAL??

freckledJesus: THAT'S HILARIOUS

HERCSMASH: YOU CHANGED MY NAME TO HORSE FUCKER WHEN YOU GOT PISSED AT ME FOR TELLING YOU TO CALM DOWN

Hamilson: SHUT UP I AM CALMING MY DATE MATE

eatmybaguette: i'm sorry i just

eatmybaguette: i want everything to be

eatmybaguette: Perfect

eatmybaguette: can we please just do this today???

Hamilson: baby everything is going to be Fine

eatmybaguette: p l ea s ee,,

landofthefree: i'll go to the store for you darling

eatmybaguette: oh thank you

eatmybaguette: i was about ready to cry

Hamilson: i'll go with thomas

HERCSMASH: i'll stay with laf and help them at gwash's

freckledJesus: i will help

freckledJesus: with something

freckledJesus: idk

eatmybaguette: o k a y

eatmybaguette: lets go !!!!!!!!!111 <333

\---

landofthefree added Hamilson to a group chat.

landofthefree: so why is laf like this atm?

Hamilson: like what

landofthefree: like

landofthefree: panicky and rude

landofthefree: they've been kinda bossy today

Hamilson: okay let me find a way to explain this

Hamilson: you've had a panic attack before right?

landofthefree: only Twice in my life but Yes

Hamilson: okay imagine a panic attack

Hamilson: but it lasts all day long

Hamilson: add anxiety and a minor OCD disorder to the mix

Hamilson: and you have laf

landofthefree: !!! bABY !!!

landofthefree: I WANT TO HUG THEM AND CRY 

Hamilson: I KNOW SO DO I 

Hamilson: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH BUT I CAN'T HELP THIs

Hamilson: the last time we didn't do what they said they locked themselves in their room and didn't come out !! for !! three !! days !!

Hamilson: we just have to let it pass by and do what they say :((((

landofthefree: eugh i want to help some other way

landofthefree: but,,, if this is all we can do,,

landofthefree: then lets go

\---

Hamilson: okay so we have to get

Hamilson: red and white whine, sweets, a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, stuffing and like,,,,,

Hamilson: christmas decorations???

HERCSMASH: we don't need decorations and a turkey but we need everything else

Hamilson: okay thanks

\---

Hamilson: I'M CRYING

eatmybaguette: ?????

Hamilson: I TOLD THOMAS TO GRAB LIKE THREE BOXES OF COOKIES

Hamilson: INSTEAD HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYES

Hamilson: AND PUSHED HALF OF THE SHELF OF COOKIES INTO THE CART]]

HERCSMASH: my gOD

landofthefree: cookies are an essential part of life

landofthefree: we will feast on cookies until the sun rises

eatmybaguette: oH MY GOD THOMAS NO

landofthefree: oH MY GOD THOMAS YES

eatmybaguette: i think im gonna be sick

HERCSMASH: ok brb

landofthefree: o ka y i'll put them back

\---

Hamilson: OKAY WE BOUGHT EVERYTHING WE ARE IN THE CAR AND WE ARE HEADING OVER TO GWASH'S

eatmybaguette: t h a n k y o u

\---

landofthefree sent dontcallmeson.jpg

angel: WHY IS DAD HUGGING ALEX

peg-leg: did he finally make dad proud for once

sinnamonbun: aww!!!

landofthefree: gwash is just really happy alex called him dad woops

LadyMaria: that is?? so?? cute??!?

landofthefree: ikr!?!?!

eatmybaguette: THOMAS

landofthefree: OKAY GOTTA GO BYE

\---

eatmybaguette: f i n all l y yyy

eatmybaguette: the house is decorated and we have the food ready

eatmybaguette: we'll cook the ham in a crockpot tomorrow

Hamilson: time to go home??

eatmybaguette: time to go home.

Hamilson: FUCK YEAH IM OUT

HERCSMASH: come on darling i'll help you to the car

eatmybaguette: thank you

\---

landofthefree: i just Realized

landofthefree: has anyone seen john all day??

Hamilson: no actually???

HERCSMASH: he said he was going to go help you guys and left????

landofthefree: oh someones at the door

landofthefree: IT'S JOHN AND HE HAS CHOCOLATE AND FLOWERS

eatmybaguette: ?!?!?!?!!?

Hamilson: oh m y g odood

\---

Hamilson sent thisisthecutestthingever.jpg

KING: awwwwwww!!!!

angel: why iS jOhn ON oNE Nknee!?!?!!?!?1

Hamilson: DON'T WORRY HE ISN'T PROPOSING (yet)

angel: i saw that

Hamilson: shshshshsh

Hamilson: laf has been really worried and stressed today

peg-leg: aw :(

peg-leg: i hope they're okay :(((

Hamilson: shshshsh

Hamilson: and i guess while we were buying things for the party

Hamilson: john went out and bought Chocolates and Flowers for laf

Hamilson: he even bought us all our favorite candies!!!!!!

sinnamonbun: AWW!!!!

LadyMaria: i should do that for you baby <333

sinnamonbun: !!! i love you my beautiful fiance !!! <3

LadyMaria: <3 //// !!!

landofthefree: it was so Sweet!!!!!!

HERCSMASH: HE'S SHOWERING LAF IN KISSES

HERCSMASH: I'M GONNA GO MASSAGE MY BABY'S FEET

landofthefree: we're coming too !! it's CUDDLE TIME ft. laf and alex 

angel: you guys are so disgustingly cute it scares me sometimes

eatmybaguette: B)


	41. Chapter 41

Hey y’all, uhh.. you’re probably wondering why this isn’t an update. The truth is - I’m no longer in the Hamilton fandom.

A lot of things happened with old friends and other fandom members - a lot of hate, fights, anger and abuse. All of that ruined the entire thing and made the entire musical and fandom really toxic to me. I wanted to remove myself for a long time but I didn’t because so many people loved this fic - on here and on different websites - and I didn’t want to upset anyone by suddenly ending everything and leaving. I forced myself to stay - and I wasn’t enjoying what I was writing or drawing or talking about anymore, it felt more like a chore than a fun hobby and it made me sad. This fic made me sad.

A lot of things happened in my daily life that removed me from the internet for a while. I had work to do, a social life to take care of, a family to watch over and mental problems.. I just had no will to keep contact with everyone who forced me to stay in the Hamilton fandom, despite craving friendship - something I never had before this. After a while, I forgot about it. I stopped checking, I stopped worrying about other people, I stopped caring so much about the story - and that was the most uplifting and comforting thing to me. Not having to worry about this so much made my mood 300 times more better.

So, I finally gave in. I am no longer updating this fic!

God, that felt good.

Thank you for joining me on this silly adventure, kiddos. Good luck out there in the world.

Signing off, Joseph.

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like i should give you my tumblr  
> @bad-l-ands  
> yeah  
> send me fan art  
> love u ❤


End file.
